I relapsed and need advice
After being clean for a while i relapsed worse than ever tonight and i don't know what to do
@20Winniethepooh03
Most importantly, are you alright? Have you applied first aid?
Something that has helped me was this:
Relapse doesn't mean failure. Relapse doesn't just magically erase all the progress that you've made. You're still trying and that's all that counts.
I cleaned it yeah,
I just feel so lost now
Hey, how do you feel? Do you want to talk more about it? Take all the time you need to express yourself if you want, you are safe here.
I relapsed too some days ago, though we all feel differently, you are not alone in this process.
You are loved and you matter, so please take the space you need and take care of yourself, if you can try to distract yourself and do something that might make you feel a bit better.
Is there anyone you can talk to? (A friend, atherapist, a caregiver?) You voice and your pain are valid, let them out, they deserve to be heard and seen.
It's okay if you feel lost, whatever you are feeling right now, even the feelings that scare you and you don't know how to name, they are all valid.
I feel really alone and scared, i don't have many people to talk to
I feel like im burdening everyone around me
Im trying to distract myself but i am struggling to stop thinking about it
@20Winniethepooh03
It's okay. I understand how you feel. Feeling alone and scared it's hard, it's not easy to manage the thoughts in your head if you have no one near and you feel like you have to deal with all of this just on your own, it's exhausting.
If you want to keep talking about it, you can talk to me. Would you like to keep talking with me about this? I'm just going to listen to you. Feel free to say no if you don't want to.
You are not burdening me, you would never burden anyone. Though I know it's extremely hard to believe it, but trust me, what you are carrying on your shoulders all alone is a heavy burden, but you, you are not a burden, you are a person, and you deserve so much love and you shouldn't carry all this weight alone, it's okay if you need help and supportsupport.
It's okay if right now it's hard to stop thinking about it, it's not your fault, these thoughts last for some time before going away, and I'm so proud of you. Would you like to talk a bit more deeply about what you are thinking? What are these thoughts telling you?
The thoughts are telling me that im not in control and that i can't even tell anyone or ill get punished
I would be happy to talk to you more but im scared to, ive never been good at talking about stuff and whenever i do i end up loosing people
It's okay. You are doing amazing, no one is asking you to be good or perfect, you just have to talk about how you feel, there is no failure here, everything's valid and accepted, though I understand that if you have bad past experiences and you are not used to open up it can be difficult and scary, but it's okay, take your time. I'm not going to judge you.
Is it ever appened that someone punished you after you talked about your feelings?
Have you ever talked about your self-harm with someone?
You can share here everything that comes up your mind.
And please let me know if you are taking care of your wounds or if you are having urges and it's getting bad. Remember you can always contact a crisis line. You can find some resources even here on 7cups.
Im trying to get help through my college now, i emailed th last night
But no i have never been to anything like that because i was always too scared to ask for it
@20Winniethepooh03
I understand how scary it can be. I've waited five years before going to a therapist and please don't make my same mistake, you deserve support right now as soon as possbile. Yes, it is scary and it is uncomfortable, I know it, but I'm sure you can do it, I'm here with you and I suport you!
Let me know what your college reply! Keep searching for some expert that can help you, please ask for the help you need.
I'm glad you're thinking about it less niw, and know that it's completetly okay to have ups and downs, they happen to me sometimes, they come and go like waves. It's hard, but you can learn how to manage them and accept them. Here you can find some useful tips (let me know if you find it helpful).
is there something you'd like to talk about more?
@20Winniethepooh03
How are you? Did you get a reply from your college? Are they able to help you?
Some reason i wasn't able to reply to your most recent reply so im replying to this one again
Yes i have been punished before for trying to express how i feel, it has caused me to loose friends too
And i tried to talk about my self harm to my mother years ago but she reacted very badly and forcibly tried to remove my cardigan to try and see, which is one of the reasons i switched to my lege so i could have my arms out and seem ok. I cleaned them last night with some saline solution but i haven't done anything since, lucky they arent too deep
@20Winniethepooh03
I'm sorry that talking about your self-harm problems caused you to lose friends and that you've been punished and that your mother reacted badly, it's horrible. You deserve so much love, know none of this is your fault. I understand how all of this makes it incredibly hard for you to try opening up again knowing it might do more harm than good. Is there anyone else you might talk with? Someone you know for sure will understand and not have a bad reaction.
have you ever been to a psyhcologist? do you think talking with a therapist might help you?
Im trying my best to keep myself distracted, and luckily I've stopped thinking about it as much but I still feel really down and lost
