I relapsed and need advice
After being clean for a while i relapsed worse than ever tonight and i don't know what to do
@20Winniethepooh03
Most importantly, are you alright? Have you applied first aid?
Something that has helped me was this:
Relapse doesn't mean failure. Relapse doesn't just magically erase all the progress that you've made. You're still trying and that's all that counts.
I cleaned it yeah,
I just feel so lost now
Hey, how do you feel? Do you want to talk more about it? Take all the time you need to express yourself if you want, you are safe here.
I relapsed too some days ago, though we all feel differently, you are not alone in this process.
You are loved and you matter, so please take the space you need and take care of yourself, if you can try to distract yourself and do something that might make you feel a bit better.
Is there anyone you can talk to? (A friend, atherapist, a caregiver?) You voice and your pain are valid, let them out, they deserve to be heard and seen.
It's okay if you feel lost, whatever you are feeling right now, even the feelings that scare you and you don't know how to name, they are all valid.
I feel really alone and scared, i don't have many people to talk to
I feel like im burdening everyone around me
Im trying to distract myself but i am struggling to stop thinking about it
@20Winniethepooh03
It's okay. I understand how you feel. Feeling alone and scared it's hard, it's not easy to manage the thoughts in your head if you have no one near and you feel like you have to deal with all of this just on your own, it's exhausting.
If you want to keep talking about it, you can talk to me. Would you like to keep talking with me about this? I'm just going to listen to you. Feel free to say no if you don't want to.
You are not burdening me, you would never burden anyone. Though I know it's extremely hard to believe it, but trust me, what you are carrying on your shoulders all alone is a heavy burden, but you, you are not a burden, you are a person, and you deserve so much love and you shouldn't carry all this weight alone, it's okay if you need help and supportsupport.
It's okay if right now it's hard to stop thinking about it, it's not your fault, these thoughts last for some time before going away, and I'm so proud of you. Would you like to talk a bit more deeply about what you are thinking? What are these thoughts telling you?
The thoughts are telling me that im not in control and that i can't even tell anyone or ill get punished
I would be happy to talk to you more but im scared to, ive never been good at talking about stuff and whenever i do i end up loosing people
Some reason i wasn't able to reply to your most recent reply so im replying to this one again
Yes i have been punished before for trying to express how i feel, it has caused me to loose friends too
And i tried to talk about my self harm to my mother years ago but she reacted very badly and forcibly tried to remove my cardigan to try and see, which is one of the reasons i switched to my lege so i could have my arms out and seem ok. I cleaned them last night with some saline solution but i haven't done anything since, lucky they arent too deep
Im trying my best to keep myself distracted, and luckily I've stopped thinking about it as much but I still feel really down and lost
