I Don't Want This For Myself
I've been self-harming since middle school, it started with bullying. It continued throughout high school and things at home didn't help. My whole life, everything I did, everything I said was wrong or it wasn't enough. I was never enough. I still struggle today with self-harm, it just isn't the same as middle/high school. I've started self-harming in other ways, and I hate it. I do suffer from several disorders, which obviously doesn't help my case. But it's too much to go into detail right now. I just want it all to stop. I don't want to feel like I deserve what I do to myself. I don't want to create more marks on my body than there already are, I just want to be happy.
I just want to thank you for being brave and sharing your story. I also have struggled with self harm since middle school, and at least for me, the longer I went with it, the more it felt out of my control. I didn't want to self harm, but I didn't know how to stop. In the beginning when I was trying to quit, I would take ice and numb the skin I wanted to self harm on. This works in two ways. One is that for a brief moment, all you do is focus on the cold. Then, once the skin is numb, it takes away the gratification of self harming. You are beautiful and brave for coming here and simply existing. I'm in your corner and if you want to talk more just message me and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
