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I was right on the verge of relapsing last night, I felt like talking about it but I didnt see a point in it if I was convinced I was going to relapse. I didnt but I ordered new tools which is helping keep my urges down, although, with holidays coming around and the pressure to finish my classes as soon as possible, Its getting more difficult to feel okay. Im tired of it. I just feel like giving in. I feel so stupid for ordering new tools when Id be a year clean next month. Pathetic.
*edited by forum mentor @rebecca947. Feel free to PM for more information*
Hi there @Mebri
I am really proud of you for reaching out here, for having been clean for a year and for having resisted your urges last night. All this shows how much strength you have inside you. You are certainly not stupid, nor pathetic. It is ok to have urges. You seem to be going through a stressful period, and in such instances it is very normal to find ourselves reconsidering a familiar coping mechanism, even if it is very much unhealthy.
You mention having ordered new tools: is there a friend whom you could give them to? How would you feel about this?
Which alternatives to SH have you found useful in the past? It may be helpful to think about some of them. I am posting a few links to posts where alternatives have been previously discussed:
Hope this helps… Please do not hesitate to reach out if there is anything I/we could do for you. You are not alone and I hope I will see you around.
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