Self harming
I try not to self harm but then I end up doing it again and c****** my wrists. The guy I’m with thinks I’m weak when I do this and I can never speak to him about this because he said he doesn’t want to be with a girl who c*** herself and I’m weak when I do this because I don’t have the right to take my own life. Yesterday we argued over the fact that he decided to activate his social media account and I c** my wrists again. When I c** I bl*** and usually bandage up my wrist but I let myself bl*** and allowed the bl*** to drip all over the floor and I cried for hours I felt so trapped and like nobody will ever understand the pain I feel and that there was nothing to make anyone understand. I have been cutting since the first lockdown because I believe everything is my fault I can’t even help people and do that right. Instagram really makes me sad there is so many pretty girls on there an it really upsets me because I hate myself :’(
It's not about being strong or weak. You need support from the people around you. I encourage you to seek help from a professional therapist. They won't say such things to you or judge you. There are certain things which are out of our control which you need to learn to let go. You cannot help someone who does not want to be helped. You can't keep blaming yourself for everything bad that happens. Sometimes bad things just happen. Wishing you the best. You're not alone.