dont self harm but had thoughts of hurting again
Hi everyone. so its been 12 years since ive self-harmed, i have a couple scars on my wrist and the ones on my ankles kinda disappeared. Ive been putting up with emotional abuse for a while now and its making my self esteem so low that i start believing them when i get told im not good enough, im dumb, etc., to the point where ive thought about taking a razor to my wrist again or to find self harm in other ways.
i use music as an escape but the thoughts still show up
i havent self-harmed though! i dont want to go back to it.
thanks forlistening/reading. just had to get my feelings out somewhere
@Lmarie1217
DON'T DO THAT ,
i can relate how you're feeling as sometimes i do feel that due to an personal reason some of them i disclose as feel comfortable sharing sorry
@Lmarie1217 Hey How are you?
I think it's great that you came forward and admitted that the thoughts are there. It's also awesome to hear that you've gone so long without harming. I do understand that the urges are popping back up - especially with dealing with the emotional abuse. It sometimes doesn't take much to fall back into old habits.
Do you have ways of distracting yourself when they do pop up? Like maybe writing it all down or maybe taking a walk?
I understand it can be hard to deal with being told your dumb or not good enough. I know it's hard to not believe things like that if you hear them enough. You aren't alone with this. It took an amazing amount of courage to tell your story. The strength you've shown with not harming. You are awesome!
Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts - we're all here for you
@mytwistedsoul im ok, how are you today?
whenenver i get these thoughts/urges i tend to listen to music or watch youtube videos. it helps for the most part. And it is hard, specially when you hear it everyday from someone you love. also just seeing the scars i have make me think "do i really wanna do this again" and it stops me from doing it again
@Lmarie1217 I'm glad to hear that you're ok. Even if it's just for the moment - better if it's ok day. I'm ok at the moment myself. Thank you for asking.
Music is an awesome outlet isn't it? I'm always telling people - I can find music for any moment.
It is hard to hear from the people you love. I know it's hard to not take what they say in and let it fester. It eats away at you and you slowly start to believe it. But how you cope - it doesn't define you. It's not who you are. It's just what you do to cope.
Hopefully this place here will also help serve as an outlet for you. A place for you to be heard and understood by people who are going through the same things. It's really great to see you here!
@mytwistedsoul yes, some days are a bit better than others, todays just ok. Hopefully it gets better for you:)
yes! music is great specially when you find music that fits the mood perfectly.
it does get hard to not let it get to me but hearing it for years, its not so easy to block it out, you know? when i was younger i went through the same thing with my own family, part of the reason i started self harming.
i like it here at 7 cups :) im hoping it helps me. Just reading other peoples posts that are going through similar things makes me feel good knowing im not alone, or crazy for feeling certain ways.
@Lmarie1217 Unfortunately family is usually the cause for it to start - not always but I know it did for me.
So what's your favorite go to music? You don't have to share of course. I'm kind of all over with music.
I'm glad you like 7cups. There's alot of really awesome people here. A few trolls too of course but you just have to ignore them.
It is nice to know you're not alone. I won't keep bothering you lol! If you ever need or want to talk - just tag me. I'm not a listener but I'm always willing to listen to people. Sometimes I even have good suggestions - Lol!