is this a bad thing to be jealous about?

Yes, it's a "bad" thing to be jealous about, but not uncommon or strange at all for people who sh. But the best option is to avoid looking at sh. It's so easy to get into a comparative spiral when you seek out sh content, and you'd do yourself a big favour to not look at it online, block the keywords, and ask people in your life not to show you. Sh is not a contest, it's not a good thing to do or anything that should be a goal. The best thing to do is build your coping toolbox and work towards a life when you no longer need sh. That's the real thing to be "jealous" of and desire: healing and self-compassion