relapsed
i guess its not much of a relapse since i hardly stopped in the first place, only 1 week clean. i just feel so ashamed, i feel so bad for making this other people's problem, i didn't want anyone to find out but everyone did. i know its hurting people i care about and i feel so so bad for making them worry and for not being able to keep my shit together. this is a personal problem. and i promised them i would come to them first before self harming but i just cant, idk how and i dont even know what i would tell them. and i feel so bad for lying to them every time they ask how i am but idk how to tell them the truth. i wish i could just go and live in a cabin in the woods away from everyone so i couldnt bother or hurt anyone.
im a horrible person for making her sad and lying and breaking the promise and i cant get the image of her crying out of my head.
It's definitely a really hard thing to deal with. Self harm can be difficult to hide and it can be difficult when people know because you feel that you're hurting them. All of this is valid and you're not alone. Lots of people go through this and I myself have struggled with this. But guess what? Everything will be ok in the end. It can be hard to tell the truth because you feel like a burden and that's understandable. But us at 7 cups are ready and willing to help you fight through this so just drop a request and we will answer as soon as we can.
Did it again. Just over a week. This time I don’t feel bad, I needed it and it helped me because nothing and no one else was there. Reminds me of a lyric from a song I love. “Don’t be cross, this sick I want.”
