I hate that I miss sh (TW)
Sometimes I really miss self harm. And its awful. Cause I know this thing I used to do was bad it is bad and I'm trying my very best not to do it. But if I miss it why am I not doing it. And I know I'm not hurting myself because I deserve love and deserve to treat my body with respect and I dont want scars but.. I've been clean for two months now (woo-hoo) and I made the decision to stop sh over a year ago, why do I still miss it?
Hi @fairmindedRaspberries1389
I am really glad that you were able to share these feelings here with us.
I think it is very much ok to still have urges and miss SH. When we feel overwhelmed or when we are dealing with difficult emotions, feelings and thoughts, it is natural to try and find a coping mechanism. And SH feels familiar. We know it offers a quick fix. But it is unhealthy, as it can lead to serious injury and even death. It doesnt serve us in the long-term and actually makes things worse because it sets up a habit of acting-out emotions rather than feeling, expressing and metabolising them. I am really proud of you for your two months and for having realised that you deserve love. Try to be compassionate and curious about what is going on for you, about the emotions and feelings that are triggering you. Remember that it is ok to feel whatever you are feeling, even the desire to self-harm. Having a feeling doesnt necessarily mean that we have to act on it <3
