Suggestions for Supporting Someone Who Self-Harms

Does someone you know and care about self-harm? It can be scary learning that someone you care about deliberately hurts themselves and it can be confusing, especially if youve never self-harmed yourself.

One way you can support someone who self-harms is to learn about the reasons why an individual self-harms. This will give you some insight and understanding. A person who self-harms will often say that their behavior is a way of coping with overwhelming emotion. Self-harm can be addictive for some individuals. Its a way of feeling better and establishing control over their emotions. People who self-harm rarely use self-harm for attention. Most people who self-harm try to keep it a secret and feel very ashamed.

It can be very difficult for a person to quit self-harming, and it may take a long time for the person to recover.

At a loss of how to help your loved one? Here is a list of suggestions from befrienders.org.

-Ask how they are feeling

-Do not be judgemental

-Do not make them feel guilty about the effect it is having on others

-Let the person who self-harms know that you want to listen to them and hear how they are feeling when they feel ready and able to talk.

-When they do discuss it with you be compassionate and respect what the person is telling you, even though you may not understand or find it difficult to accept what they are doing.

-Do not give ultimatums such as 'If you don't stop self-harming you have to move out'. This is not helpful and it won't work.

-Understand that it is a long and hard journey to stop self-harming. Be aware that someone will only stop self-harming when they feel ready and able to do so.