Trigger warning I'm sorry
I just want to say I'm sorry, I did it again. I did hurt myself a lot, I'm not gonna justify this, I'm really looking for help outside but its being some horrible (for not saying a other word) days and I just can't, I don't feel anyone really care, I feel everything is fake, I just need a hug not a yell, not look at their disappointment looks, as if what I'm doing is not happening. I'm really sorry, I just want my so called parents to stop faking they care about me when in reality they just don't want THIS, THIS SITUATION go outside our walls, because we need to show people that nothing is wrong, we are a happy family, and that I'm just seeking attention. Please make it stop please I don't know what else to do, I already look for help by myself, I found it, I'm going and feel good there, then why do they make me feel so bad.
I'm sorry please I just don't know.
@Anonimalgurl85 Hey
I just want you to know I understand - alot of us here do. It isn't something that done for attention - it goes way beyond that. There are deeper reasons for doing it. I'm sorry your family doesn't seem to understand and that you feel they didn't want it to go outside of the walls. I understand that too.
You aren't alone - not here. I'm glad you're reaching out for help. Do you have any coping methods for when the urges get strong? Ways to distract yourself? Someone you can talk to - a listener here or even if you tag someone.
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you so much really, I do have some coping, or at least I think so, I tend to listen to music that's loud and dance, or if I really want so so bad to, I have a red marker and an orange pen, I draw on myself but I don't think that's working right now
@Anonimalgurl85 I draw on myself too - sometimes it works - sometimes it doesn't. Have you heard of the butterfly project? Where you draw butterflies instead of just lines and marks? Sometimes going out for a walk helps - to get away from certain tools and sometimes the change of scenery helps.
Music is a great distraction too. I listen to it loud myself.
@mytwistedsoul
I actually like to draw, I didn't know about the butterfly thing but I like to draw like cherry blossoms and peach flowers as if my arm where a tree. I do the walks too with my dog, I try to keep that away it's just stop working this days I don't know
@Anonimalgurl85 Oh wow - peach and cherry blossoms sounds really wonderful. Have you tried a rubber band or even ice when the drawing doesn't work?
@mytwistedsoul
Thanks, I like to chew ice, but I didn't try the rubber band
@Anonimalgurl85
I wish I could take away your pain. I am sad you are suffering so much, I am sad you are hurting, but I am in no way disappointed. You are seeking help, and this is something to be extremely proud of <3
I know it is only virtual, but I am sending you a hug and if there is anything I can do for you, anything that would make you feel better, please do not hesitate <3
@admaiorasemper
Thank you so much, really I accept your virtual hug haha. I really wish thing where different
@Anonimalgurl85
@Anonimalgurl85
Give yourself time to heal 
Things do change with time
@admaiorasemper
Yeah, thank you 