I have developed a bad self harm reaction to stress and cannot seem to break the habit
Whenever something hurts me (ie make me feel bad), frustrates me, or otherwise causes me to feel sad, heartbroken, whatever etc, I automatically turn to self harm. I guess it’s out of anger at God, universe, whatever for what I perceive as treating me unfairly but the point is I just can’t stop. I don’t know what to do!
I completely understand how you feel and can relate to you. I have found that there are alternatives to self harm that can be just as beneficial, have you tried venting to friends and asking for advice? Otherwise, you could reach out to a family member you trust, or to a professional e.g. through a quick phone call, I've received some valuable help from them e.g. Samaritans. Cutting yourself will not help in the long run, but advice can really put your mind at ease in the long term and benefit your self esteem. Hope I could be of help :)
Thanks quick, the things (mostly fears of rejection by people I care about) cannot be discussed with anyone I know, trust me. I tried to call suicide hotline once when I was feeling really bad about this sort of thing (ie rejection). They ratted me out to the cops and I had to spend a measurable amount of my evening in the psych ER. I will never trust suicide hotline again.