I'm finally here

@turquoiseHuman5223

I think it matters. Even though you may have times where we slip into our old habits again. What matters is you caught yourself from spiralling more downwards and had the ability to stop yourself for a whole day. I think that is a incredible thing to celebrate. The ability to not slip back into the cracks entirely. Even if you slip up a few times. that's part of recovery after all. Don't let a slip up define the rest of your path to recovery. It's okay to slip every now and then.

Hi there @turquoiseHuman5223

First of all, a warm welcome here to you. I am happy you have found our subcommunity and I hope you will enjoy being here and feel supported

I want to say that I am extremely proud of you for being clean for a whole year... It is an amazing result and your recent relapse doesn't make it disappear. Relapses happen, they are part of the recovery process.

Nothing your wrote sounds pathetic to me. I can feel your pain and sadness and I am really sorry you are sitting with such difficult feelings. I am really sorry you felt you wanted to die.

We are here for you and ready to support you. You are not alone.