Embarrassed of seeking help
My drinking has steadily increased over about 5 year. A litre of vodka is not unusual in a day. Somehow I am still holding down a decent job, but it won't last forever. And advice or links to discuss anonymously? Time for change, im so sad...
I don’t have specific advice but I think it is great you are reaching out for help and trying to take control of the situation before it controls you. I guess on piece of advice would be to ask a doctor for help, they have meds to help make the process easier
You are actually in a position of power because you still have a decent job and you are reaching out before losing everything. Connect to the thing(s) that matter the most and constantly remind yourself why things HAVE to change. Speaking with a medical professional will help you understand how to navigate any related health concerns that may be developing. I was on a liver transplant list before I realized how bad things had gotten. You said its time for a change and you can make it happen no matter how hard because you deserve to be happy. Stay connected --keep seeking serenity
Sounds like you need help. I drank the equivelent of a 24-pack of beer a day.
Alcohol is very dangerous to come off of cold-turkey. Talk to a doctor. AA is everywhere, it worked for me, but it's not the only path to freedom.
The first step is to make sure your managing your body as you come off alcohol. A medical detox is the safest route. If you find that not drinking gives you the shakes and you need to drink throughout the day, you may be in a very dangerous place.
Good luck
I’m in a similar place. I have a decent job, but crave so badly just to FEEL something...anything, and more often than not it’s the buzz of being numb from drinking. It’s a catch-22.
@conscientiousWalker8667 I'm finding excercise gives me a feeling that satisfies what I used to look for in drinking. I used to take citalapram and buspirone for depression and anxiety. I've been off of them more than a year. I take St Johns Wort and Mucuna Pruriens Extract, which are supposed to help with depression (SJW) and dopamine (MPE). I take these herbal supplements with the support of my doctor, but that said, anecdotally, I find the MPE makes a big difference. I just feel happier that make me want to excercise more and regularly, which in turn releases more dopamine, so it's a virtuous cycle. Drinking work the other way... I used to feel bad, I'd drink, I feel worse, I'd drink more.
I finally admitted to myself that I had been a functional alcoholic for the last 10 years, stopping was hard. I drank to quell what I thought was unhappiness, but it turns out that I was covering up a serious anxiety problem. And I’m now working through that. One thing at a one. There some good AA zoom meetings that are out there.
Congratulations, AA has been a big help for me. I just celebrated two years. I do a zoom meeting almost every day. Here is a link that connects to zoom meeting all over the world. There is also an app called “Meetings.” That will show all meetings in your area. https://aa-intergroup.org/oiaa/meetings/ AA is not the only “road to Rome,” but it’s always there. The thing that trips up many people with AA is the GOD/Higher Power language. I find it useful to read the 12 Steps and use “X” in place of God. It takes the gender/paternal/ritual out of it. It’s clear to me that drinking was my God (for lack of a better word). It’s what my life was about. Having something positive at the core of my everydayness is really what it’s all about. For some, a Judie-Christian God fits the bill. For others, it’s a bit more complicated — and that runs counter to AA’s keep it simple axiom. If you’re not a “shut up and sing” type, you may feel you are going against the current or not heard and appreciated. Don’t fall into that trap. Many in AA are not stuck on religion. No road will be without bumps and the disease will find fault where it can to justify drinking or using. Message me if I can help in any way. Life is better sober. Even facing difficulties is better sober. It will not look that way. Sometimes a drink will look harmless or it will look like the answer. It is not. Your body, mind and spirit do not need alcohol. It’s okay for some; but once you have crossed the Rubicon to alcoholism, it’s nothing but trouble that leads to illness, incarceration and death. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Don’t waste another minute suffering.