I feel ashamed when I slip up

I realized that for a long time alcohol was a problem area for me. I used to ebb and flow about being 'in control' and not so much.

I have been doing great for a while...was keeping on the behaving train for about almost 6 months. Then last night I slipped up. I was having a really rough evening emotionally and then I will spare the details...but I proceeded to drink. I also immediately threw it all up, clearly showing myself that I don't like this horrible stuff.

Yet part of me wanted to continue, like what kind of nonsense is this.

I feel so guilty and ashamed of myself.