I recently Relapsed
Hey I just need to get this out of my system. I've been sober for 5 years and what pushed me to stop drinking was trying to fix the relationships I ruined and actually have a relationship with my family. Last month I called my sister and she basically told me our relationship was beyond repair and she's the only family I have left and she refuses to ever talk to me and I felt like crap so I started drinking again and then I carried and I've barely been sober since. I have tried going to meeting but it all seems meaningless now I don't really have a reason to stay sober anymore being drunk or sober doesn't change anything for me anymore I can't fix the damage I've done.I'm just scared that I am beyond helping.
@sensibleLemon9918 Hi there, I'm so sorry to hear about your relapse and how things are with your sister. You are so brave for opening up to us. I can imagine how scared you are right now, but you do not have to suffer alone. If you ever need someone to speak with, feel free to reach out to the listeners here. Best wishes, and I believe you will get through this. :)
@sensibleLemon9918
Ok..
One you gotta find the strength to make the choice to stop and clean up the wreckage from this relapse.
Once you make that choice, toss out all the alcohol, clean the hell out of your house, wash your clothes, get your bills paid, and leave no stone unturned in things that need to be taken care of.
You can't move forward till you are all caught up to present on all those annoying mundane tasks. I also find that giving the house a damn good cleaning really feels cleansing and gives a sense of accomplisment as well. Once you get through all that, the next step to find the motivation and maintain those motivations with a therapist, support group, or on your own needs to be decided.
Just don't sit down and make the decision whilst standing in a mess that no doubt will make you feel ashamed.
Keep in mind, this is coming from a person who has woken up and looked around his house and said, "Well that certain got out of hand in a hurry..err.."
Hang in there, we are here for you.
@sensibleLemon9918
Im so sorry to hear what you are going through. Im on the verge of losing my family and boyfriend after relapsing this weekend.
For me Ive apologized so many times and the only way I can really apologize is to show everyone Im doing better. Im not sure what your sister is like but I feel like people perhaps would not be so adamant once they see you are doing better. Just know that you matter and there are many people out there who would not hesitate to help you, especially AA. Before I went to rehab two girls reached out to me and drove me to a meeting. Complete strangers! There is help out there for you and you are worth it.