Relationships and Drug Addiction *possible trigger warning so please use discretion if you're in recovery*
*possible trigger warning so please use discretion, especially if you're in recovery*
So we all know of the dark truth that statistically relationships do not last when mixed with drug addiction; for a plethora of reasons. Yet I believe that most of us addicts(sober or not) truly love one another and want the relationship to last forever. I'll offer a real brief background of my current life events and then I'll pose my question. I'm an addict through and through and regrettably, I'm not at all sober. Currently it's drugs-meth and coke; ashamedly-been riding this train pretty much nonstop for 4 and a half years. Met my girlfriend at a house that happened to be my buddies supplier-and she was his girlfriend. Suffice to say it didn't take long before we got together(maybe a week and a half before I won her over-I already know) and had been together for what would have been 3 years plus one week today....But I found out that she'd been less than faithful to me over the past month-by almost a dozen dudes. Shoulda seen the warning signs, but when you're in love, does anyone really pay attention? I know she loved me and that she still loves me because like a dumb@#$, I still talk to her at least once a day. I'm not going to tell her addiction story because it's not mine to tell, but to stay relevant to the topic suffice it to say that we share the same primary addiction with mine being about 10 months longer than hers. As for my question, is there any addict out there(recovering or suffering) who is in a long term healthy relationship with another addict(recovering or suffering) that have used drugs together. or are currently using drugs together, that can offer me some sage advice of how to begin to heal a shattered relationship, or give me some kind of hope that long term healthy relationships can and do exist?? Our goal is to be recovering from our addiction eventually, but we all know how hard that first step is. Please no negative comments or messages, I already know that I'm dumb for loving her still or it's wrong that I want to take her back. Although she caused me immense pain and heartache, she'd been my ride or die for three years, and I love her. Sorry for the rant and I hope to hear from at least someone who has had a similar situation/experience and if not, well...I suppose I'll know how dumb I'm being.
@proactiveJackfruit1973 Well if it’s any consolation you might be just as dumb about the relationship if you weee sober. So let’s just say you’re being human.
@FlatenedByLife I saw your comment a little bit ago, but waited to reply because what you said upset me and I didn't want to let my pride or ego say something that I knew I didn't mean. What you said was exactly what I needed to hear even though it's something that so many people around me that I thought of as a "friend" were to scared to do, and that's be honest and blunt with me while being supportive at the same time. It'll take some time to completely accept what you said and that's okay because I know you're absolutely correct. I want to thank you for that and for reminding me that I do deserve a better life than this. Probably 45 minutes ago now, I researched some inpatient rehab centers nearby, and I think I found one that might work for me; hopefully I will hear back from them today. It's going to be rough and I hope that I can be able to go through with it. This will be my second attempt at getting clean with the first being 3 and a half years ago-only lasted a month, but this will be the first time trying an actual rehab. I've been contemplating sobriety for almost a year now, but always found an excuse to not do it...I've never actually made steps to enter a rehab, so that's a huge first step for me. It's definitely time. I don't know you, but thank you for taking the time to help me see that there's a better path that I deserve
@proactiveJackfruit1973
I am a hopeless romantic who started using meth to understand her ex better because I couldn't wrap my head around why he would be so... you know. Despite this, I still never understood him because I loved him, but he loved meth.
And that is where the problem sits. Drugs and romantic love/relationships/true love, whatever you want to call it, don't go together because an addict loves what they are addicted to.
Coming from an addict, loving one was the hardest thing I've ever done. I was in love with an addict, and my best friend was an addict, too; I loved her so much. My ex got life in prison for murder, and my best friend overdosed 2 years ago. Sometimes, it feels like all they did was take the best parts of me. They couldn't even stick around to keep me company in the end.
Honestly, my partner and I have been struggling here recently. The physical and mental abuse she has thrown at me lately has me at the end of my rope some days. But we are actively trying to create more healthy ways of communicating and setting boundaries. Learning to tell each other exactly what you are feeling when it is happening is a good way to open up communication and help teach one another of our struggles. I think eventually we will stop with the awful fights. The hitting is one thing, but constantly hearing stuff like I'm stupid or a piece of ***, is definitely chipping at my confidence. We both struggle with meth, which really it's easier for me to open up when high. I'm not really sure if any of this helps, but just know we are trying our best to keep our relationship with each other and definitely trying to find ways of healthy communication.