Ruined life

I'm 38 and going through one of the lowest points of my life. I've been struggling with depression, anxiety, and significant difficulty with social situations for a long time. I've often used alcohol to cope with the anxiety and discomfort of being around people, and my drinking has contributed to very poor decisions and impulsive behavior that I'm deeply ashamed of.

I'm currently unemployed, broke, living with my parents, without a car, and dealing with pending legal issues. I've become extremely isolated and don't really have friends or a social life anymore. I've lied, broken promises, acted irrationally in situations where I should have walked away, and pushed people away. I know I've made mistakes, and I'm struggling with the consequences and with how I see myself because of them.

The biggest source of pain right now is my 6-month-old daughter. Things have become extremely bad between me and her mother, we're currently no contact, and I'm terrified that I'll miss important parts of my daughter's life. I feel like my mental health, drinking, and poor decisions have put me in a position where I've lost control of my life and may lose even more.

I'm overwhelmed, lonely, and struggling to see a way forward. I don't expect anyone to fix my problems or tell me that I've done nothing wrong. I just need someone who will listen without judging me while I talk honestly about what I've been going through and try to figure out how to start rebuilding my life.