Through storm clouds and thunder...
I'm not expecting answers or advice... The silly irony of things is we already know what needs to change, what has to stop... But getting off the short-lived and shallow pleasure of whatever it is we use to numb the pain is quite the pickle.... To avoid looking within, to avoid finding the clarity and path forward so desperately needed is a blackhole that's swallowed up many a soul.
And yet here we are... Still flowing towards it...
I know there's a way to fight against the pull, as immense as it can be.
The battle is uphill, perhaps as close as one could imagine to storming the beaches of Normandy. Victory is more than just a hopeful option. It's a commitment and has to be. Our struggle to make it out of the water, over the sand, and past the bunkers - nothing less.
I just want to know what we can expect to see on the other side when we make it there... And all my love and more to those who just need to hear it right now.
Cheers :)
@K23Z
@K23Z I believe the other side is going to look different for all of us. I wish I knew myself.. I never picked up any substance other than social drinking until I was 30 years old and had an 8 year old and my whole life and career together.. I’ve been trying to remember who I used to be for the longest time.. I can’t even believe that was ever my life. I would give my soul to any power, good or evil, to get out of this abyss of suffocation I created for myself. And all of the damage I’ve done to my kid is unbearable. I have her back and living with me now since 10/2022. I had to restart my whole life after losing everything. My mom had custody of her for a few years and I was only allowed to see her everyday after almost a year of my mother only letting me talk to her on the phone and see her in public. I thought when I started seeing her again everyday and then finally recovered enough to get her back again I would be happy. Now I actually feel horrible because I realized that my own 17 year old daughter is the main trigger for me wanting to escape and relapse. She knows I have so much guilt and she uses that to her advantage. People say “you have to stop feeling guilty and move forward” yeah right.. someone tell me which spot to poke myself for that to happen. Sorry for the depressing response..