Codeine addiction

Hello all. So this is new and a first. So.. I'm 31, I am a mum and I adore my children with I everything i am. But i feel i have nothing left to give to anyone. I think i am addicted to codeine. 5 years ago i was diagnosed with hip dysplasia, arthritis and given painkillers. After seeing a consultant many times, being refused a hip replacement because i am 'too young' and expressing my anxieties about my medication use as a co sequence, he proceeded to then prescribe me some pregabalin. I dont think the consultant listened. I dont know where to start. I'm scared of stopping because of the pain I was in before and the withdrawa . Who will I be if I stop? I recently had a routine blood test which showed that my liver is showing some signs that it is not happy. I really dont know what to do. I work full time as a banker. I have a family relying on me. What if trying to stop makes things worse? I have BPD which also complicates things a bit. When in crisis I become very mental unwell; crippling anxiety, psychosis, impulsive and dangerous behaviour. Gosh, that all sounds hideous! I do have some good qualities too...somewhere! Lol. I wonder if if anyone else can relate to the fear I have? The feelings of doubt? Sending much love to you all xx