The Dangers of using GHB, and the story of how my girlfriend and I destroyed everything.

GHB (gamma-Hydroxy Butyric Acid), also well known as Fantasy or Liquid X is a central nervous system depressant. In microdoses, GHB has the effects of a stimulant drug. GHB acts on the GHB receptor , and is a precursor to GABA, glycine and glutamate in certain areas of the brain. GHB became famous as the well-known 'date rape' drug, which was used in attacks to spike victims drinks. GHB is a very dangerous drug and regular use will lead to dependency, and eventually addiction (something I went through, hence why I'm posting this thread). When our bodies become dependent on this drug, higher doses need to be taken to receive the effects you desire. This can be even more dangerous as there is a very thin line between a 'high', and overdose. This is where I went wrong with my use, but I won't speak of that in detail outside a PM.

Being dependent on GHB causes our body to severly withdraw when we cease use without proper medical help. These withdrawal symptoms are probably some of the worst withdrawals I've ever experienced from any drug, ever. I could even say the withdrawals were worse for me from GHB, then what they were when I stopped using methamphetamine. One of the worst withdrawal symptoms I experienced would definitely be the muscle cramping and tremors, sometimes I could not bare them. This was a major trigger for me to go and buy more of the drug.

At the beginning of my use when I was heavily addicted to methamphetamine, I was using GHB recreationally to get a burst of euphoria. The euphoric feeling I experienced from the drug made me feel more confident in social interactions, especially the people I was hanging around and meeting which were also using the drug. At this point when I began using GHB on a daily basis, I had a decent amount of money which I was mainly spending on these 2 drugs. My girlfriend (which is now on remand in a prison in Brisbane) was also using these two drugs and was new to GHB at the time as well. We both rebounded our drug use of one another and influenced each other in the wrong way, which was kinda hard for us to realise at the time, or at least accept. At the beginning when we had money, a stable acommodation which we had booked out for a long holiday, a working car to get around in and a reliable income stream (aside the crimes we committed to make money), we thought was our rise and felt on top of the world for months and had no problems to face (which we thought). I remember standing high as hell on the edge of the balcony of the 33rd floor of our apartment, with my face in the breeze by the water.. Feeling the most "free" I have ever felt my whole life, but deep deep down, I knew this all wasn't going to end the way we both thought it would. We had been using methamphetamine prior to GHB for a fairly long time, and our tolerance was pretty high towards it so we were still eating and sleeping most days and nights. GHB also played a major factor in our sleeping. I remember how caught up we were in this 'happiness', to the point we didn't really have, or talk of our intentions in cutting down our use in either drugs. I stopped caring about the sober world and reality that much that every single other problem I had didn't exist anymore and I slowly lost my good friends, and my family began to give up on me. When the time came when we had to check out of the apartment, we decided to book another 2 weeks stay. This is when things really began to fall apart. When we realised we were starting to run low on money, and had to start breaking the law again like we used to, to make money. I'm a changed person now after experiencing all this and currently being clean, but I will mention there was a side to my girlfriend and I that I wish I never knew about and truly regret; which was committing crime in order to make money to feed our addiction such as breaking into cars, taking mail from letterboxes at early hours of the morning to get debit cards and identification which we would sell to someone we knew, or would trade with our dealer that committed fraud regularly. My girlfriend and I faced a lot of criminal charges because of the things we did and wish there were ways to take back everything now, but unfortunately there isn't.

Each day started to become a struggle, and money slowly began to come a problem. When the 2 weeks at the apartment ended, we were left with no choice but to sleep in my car with all of our stuff. At this point we were in a lot of trouble with the police as well, and my girlfriend had missed her sentencing court case and broke her strict bail conditions so was issued an RTP (return to prison warrant). I also had a warrant for my arrest for charges I had committed in this phase. We went from car park to car park trying to find a 'safe' place to stay. During this time every bit of money we had gotten was going towards doses of GHB, and methamphetamine. We spent every day and night using, whilst paranoid out of our brains about police, security or anyone who seen us that we thought may call the police. Neither of us were in a good state of mind. Every day became a game of survival, and we both started coming to reality and realising this all wasn't going to end well. We spent every almost every night in my car in different car parks smoking methamphetamine with a sun shade protector covering the windscreen so no one could see in. As each day became harder and harder, I remember having multiple conversations with my girlfriend about the severity of trouble we were in, her mostly. We began coming to our senses a little, and would start talking about our lifes before we started using meth and GHB. I remember both of us becoming really upset and regretful of everything we had done... We never thought we'd end up where we were, and it was the most sad, powerful feeling we've ever both experienced in our lives. The fact I knew deep down when we were eventually caught, my girlfriend would defintely go back to prison. I tried not to think about it, but as each day went on and we couldn't afford to stay on that 'high' level 24/7, the constant comedowns and the mindset that comes with it forced us both to face reality, and the fact that we knew we couldn't live like this forever. We tried thinking and planning many different ways of how we could leave this chapter of our lives with a happy ending, but no matter what we'd plan there was no happy ending, and we both knew it. My girlfriend even connected with a detox centre, and was given a date on when she would start detox (though I was a little concerned on whether she would attend or not. I did the best I could to convince her it would be a good thing). Although detox would of been good, at the time the only realistic thing the both of us could of done was hand ourselves in and face reality, and we talked of it multiple times but we both knew, cause of the paranoia and drug use it definitely wasn't going to happen. We were stuck, at complete rock bottom.

One of the last nights I seen my girlfriend, we had smoked in the car all night with one of our dealers. She crashed out about 2am in the morning so I let her sleep because I knew she needed it. When the sun came up and she woke up, the words that came out of her mouth were words I've never heard spoken with such desire, the tears and look in her eyes showed me she had had enough of this lifestyle, and was ready to face everything. She asked me to take her to her grandmothers apartment, which I strongly supported her and did so right away. I knew her grandmother had given up on her a while back, but deep down I knew she would still take her in if she really wanted to get clean.

When we arrived at her grandmothers I helped her bring all her clothes and belongings from the car to the house, then asked her to promise me she would attend detox and concentrate on herself and not worry about me for now (sad, but I knew it's what she had to do to get herself through the addiction. It was now or never). I said my goodbyes to her and wished her the best, I didn't know when it'd be when I saw her next as it was Saturday and detox was coming Friday. I didn't want to bring her down by asking to see her during the week, but was really hoping I'd see her before detox. I had broken my iphone the week earlier and only had a laggy LG phone which I could barely afford to buy phone credit on to contact her, so I knew the only times we'd be able to speak was if she used her grandmothers phone, and if I drove and found a place with free wifi. I knew this would be hard as I was extra paranoid now being by myself, and could barely afford the fuel to get around anyway.

I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life when I drove away, because I knew I had to face everything alone now and we didn't have each other to comfort one another and keep each other positive. I knew she would be better with her grandmother, so deep down I felt okay. I missed her more than I've ever missed anyone for the next couple of days.

After a long couple of days, I got a call from her on her grandmothers phone Wednesday night, and I picked her up and spent some time with her. She mentioned her grandmother didn't want her staying in her apartment around her belongings because she didn't trust her, but paid for an apartment for them both to stay at until she was to attend detox on Friday. I spent the night with her sober (we had both been sober since Saturday), until her grandmother messaged her late at night abusing the both of us as her grandmother thought she was using again and breaking her promise, which I also found out was to stay away from me. I understood why her grandmother felt that way as my parents felt the same about her, they just both didn't understand we were good people with a heart underneath everything. We had just both gone down the wrong path together. When we received the texts from her grandmother I took her back to the apartment and said goodbye again, and she said she would find a way to call me tomorrow afternoon (the afternoon before detox). I drove down the road and slept in my car, then woke up the next day waiting on that last call from her that never came. When it got to 9pm that night I got worried that she had maybe decided to forget about me and leave me behind with her addiction, so I text her grandmothers phone and asked if she was safe, and if she was okay. Her grandmother text me back saying "I don't know where she is, probably in a jail cell where she needs to be. You should of helped her while you can" (yes I know her grandmother could get nasty, but she had had enough). When I read the text, my stomach dropped and at this point I had realised what had happened. I called the police station watch house, and they told me they had her in police custody, and that she would facing court first thing in the morning. They told me she would most definitely be returning to prison. The next morning she was denied bailed and remanded into custody and was told she would be transported to a correctional centre in Brisbane as soon as a bed was available. This was the day I had realised that everything was over and this was exactly how the story was going to end, which it did. I spent November, December and Christmas Day alone in my car, using again so I could numb the pain I was feeling. It wasn't until New Years Eve came I finally turned up at my Mother's house to face the music. It was the worst feeling seeing the looks upon my Mum's face and how upset she was seeing me in the state I was in, but could tell how happy she was to finally have me back.

I turned myself in on the 2nd of January but got bail 2 days later and given a court date on the 17th of January, 2020 for my outstanding charges. I haven't touched methamphetamine or GHB since the day before New Years Eve, and I am now exactly 14 days clean. It may not seem a long time, but it's the longest I've been clean in the last 2 years. I have come a long way and am proud of myself. Things are still hard, and although this chapter of my life had a sad ending I've realised that it isn't an ending, and that it's only the beginning. My girlfriend is clean, so am I. We learnt the hard way but this is where our new chapter begins.

I'm now staying at an apartment I've temporarily booked out, staying with a friend I've reconnected with that doesn't use drugs, sitting behind my computer writing this to you guys now. I write letters to my girlfriend in prison as much as I can, and we're currently waiting on her next court date on the 21st of this month for her sentencing date so we know how long she will be staying in prison. My court date for my charges is on the 17th prior to her court case, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed things go well for me, so I can attend and see her via video link at her court case a couple days after.

There were a lot more things that happened in this phase that I don't wish to mention, or is too much to explain over the internet, but to sum everything up this is not the path you want to take. These drugs will completely destroy your life and every single tiny little thing around you. If you are an active user, please feel free to message me whenever and I'm happy to be here waiting with open arms.

It's never too late to stop, but sometimes we need to stop before it's too late.