The Same Routine Everyday (Help me stop)
Everyday for the past five years and however many days I have been laying waste to my body daily to distract my mind. I’m only eighteen, during middle school and high school my mom constantly sent me to programs and institutions but now that I’m an adult I have full access to my prescriptions and nobody to lock me away when it gets out of control. Despite being able to quit Cocaine at fourteen years old, I do not think I could of done it if my mom hadn’t forced me to get clean. It was hell and I don’t know how to stop abusing my pills. I smoke weed daily and use nicotine products such as cigarettes and I go through a pack of Juul pods every week. I don’t know how many years I can keep up with my daily habits but when I am sober I feel sick. I’ve gone through a lot but currently I am just sitting in the aftermath of ruining my own adolescence. I need advice.
@limeNorth333 I am so sorry for your experience. I am also someone who can get addicted quicky and don't really have self-control and discipline. So, I kinda can understand your situation.
I know that self-control is probably the most important quality for living a healthy life. Not everything that feels good is benefitial to us. You can try to achieve better self-control slowly. try doing bullet journalling and keep track of what you do.
Next advice is something that I try to follow as a prevention. Stay away from the things that are harmful, gives momentary pleasure and might get you hooked.Have some rules. I will probably never drink due to religion restriction. But, I have had troubles before due to many addictions.
for your case, I will suggest you to take help of your mother..Try to stay sober with her help for 1-2 year. Then avoid anything related to drugs so that you don't get triggered.
I find it hard to control my internet addiction. You are really strong . We shouldn't give into addictions for momentary happiness. nt worth it.
Me and my mom have a rocky relationship whenever things would go down such as she’d catch me abusing drugs each time she thought I’d been clean she’d just put me in the hands of the state which I understand but the medicine I’m abusing now is my prescriptions I take them for my mental disabilities but I also abuse them awfully and have since I was placed on them in middle school. They have had to tweak doses and lessen them. I don’t know how I’d be without them as I’ haven’t gone off them entirely even when I wasn’t taking four times the dose a day I still had it in my system. The only time I was able to quit something entirely was cocaine and I think it’s because the access is very different compared to prescriptions, nicotine, and marijuana. I’m afraid if I go to a rehab now it could ruin my life. All my friends are about to start college and I’ve only had one job since I’ve been sixteen and I’m not sure how’d they feel about me going to a place like that now that I’m an adult. I’m also afraid to tell a professional like my psychiatrist because my prescriptions will be revoked and I don’t know how my body would change
@limeNorth333
I'm not sure if this would help, but it seems to me like maybe you are using substances to excape from having the deal with and process the real issues that are going on in your life. Maybe it might help to spend some time journalling about what's going on in your life, what your triggers are, and what your goals are for your life. It might help you get more clarity about why you want to change your actions in order to have a better future.
I went through that to block out rape at 4 or 5 years old by my mother's father.
I blocked it, the memory. Then as a teen everything came back. Drugs overdosed 3x.
Then again in mid 20s bit this time I ran. Moles and miles.
Now in 40s I have relapsed.
Not to discourage you but run. Run. The concentrating on breathing takes all other thoughts out of head. At least for a bit.
How do you cope.
