how could my wife say this

People say rude things when they are in the angry state. She will feel awful about it later on... Hang in there.

My mom said I was an asshole for not doing my little brothers homework. Wtf?

People say hurtful shit lol

It's hard to understand in the moment that it's anger speaking. Though what they say is rooted in something that they are angry about. Try to understand where that anger is coming from and not to react to it with anger. I know, it's super super super hard. Today my boyfriend, whom I've supported financially over the past year, spending nearly 20K in his school tuition and living expenses already, said to me that he is the one stressed, that I'm fine in the end, that me continuously spending money on him is not a big deal or causes me any problems. I'm trying to remember that in his world his problems are what are close to him, so it's what he can feel in the moment. So when agitated, or when fighting, we say really hurtful things. Of course it hurts like hell, that someone can take you for granted like that. But in the end, time to assess if their anger is unhealthy for you and if it's time to leave the relationship-if you can. I know if it's family, such as a parent that's hard to do.

I'v been a victim of words too, words spoken of my past which I left 5 years ago. It hurts a lot and recently my husband called me so many names but I'v learnt to let go of all the awful things said about me. Ask God to help you forgive and forget because if you don't do that resentment towards her will slowly build up within you and this will affect your relationship. Also try talking to her and let her know how you felt about her careless statement. God bless you

It's horrible that she said that and you have every right to be upset about it. Though it's true, people do say some pretty mean and unncessary things when they're angry. It shouldn't happen, but it does. I guess the only thing that you can do is express to her when you're calmed down how it made you feel. I'm sure she feels bad for saying it. Sometimes we just don't think before we speak and when we're hurt we want the person that hurt us to hurt, too. We are only human. Talk it out, that's all you really can do.

Congratulations on being clean! Everyone has already said but i will say it again people say hurtful thing. Sometimes they say it out of haste and defenseothers out of malice & revenge. I dont know your wife or how long you have been married. Or what she thought you did. But i do know how hard it is to stop an addiction. Can you take time to think why she said that? Was she hurt did she feel like she needed to defend her self my hurting you? Is she normally verbaleyabusive? There is no excuse in my mind for saying or doing hurtfulthings but thinking of this might help you feel better for what her reason would be.

Remember what you did to put yourself in a better place in life! You will be in my thoughts. Be strong

@dynamicHuman76

Hello there, I have to agree with few here. People can get quite vulgar with choices of words when they are angry. I might be one of them. But it doesn't mean this shouldn't hurt your feelings. It will hurt anyone's feeling. There has to be a reason why she was by your side all this time, there is significant stress she's probaly experiencing that made her have an outburst. Give ones we love a chance to calm down and explain themselves. Sometimes that's how you respect your own self. To wait and forgive. I wouldn't get so wrapped up in what she said. She clearly said it with intention to hurt you. Be the person to choose compassion over anger. You already did something amazing by becoming sober. You can do this one too. Good luck and keep us posted!