relapsing
Ever since I was 14 I’ve had an issue with Xanax. I’m 20now and I still have a problem with it. Idk. I try to drown my problems and idk why. The other day I took some, went with friends to drink and smoke and I absolutely blacked out. I feel so vulnerable, exposed, and alone. I had been like WEEKS sober. None of my friends have reached out after that. I feel so bad. I wish I was stronger than my addiction. I just. Idk. Idk. I hate myself alot right now. For letting them see me like that. For relapsing. For not stopping idk. Some words of encouragement would be nice or idk. Anything but “get over it you’re not 15 anymore” like my friend’s were saying. They way they went about my relapsing was more of a lecture than comforting or helpful.
Hey! I also struggle with xans so I understand what ur going through. I’ve been off xans since July (but don’t praise me for it, I’ve been in other stuff since then and don’t plan on not doing xans again). I’m very sorry for the way your friends handled that situation. Obviously they don’t understand how addiction is a disease. So I’ll say what they didn’t:
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Being sober for weeks is something to be so proud of. Recovery is not easy. Lots of ups and downs. It may be helpful to think about what lead you to relapse and what you can do in the future to be able to manage those emotions without drugs, just to be better prepared (if sobriety is what you really want). Honestly, I think it’s normal for people like us to feel powerless when it comes to drugs so when relapse happens it’s important to take care of your body and mind. You can be sad, angry, disappointed with yourself, etc, just don’t forget to let those emotions go after you feel them and forgive yourself. Surrounding yourself with people who support you is a plus if you have access to that. Good luck on your journey friend!