what an inconvenience *TW: Mention of Drugs*
blueSquare2737
November 10th, 2021
opiates are about the only thing that make my life bearable, but it's such a hassle being a junkie, always waiting on the most unreliable people, that might just steal from you at any moment or give you fake shit. Or have to wait for mail always in fear that you got scammed and aren't actually getting your meds I haven't spent enough time in psychiatry to get ketamine nasal spray for depression, but lemme tell ya, oxymorphone is aa absolutely beautiful anti depressant,, and... If I could hake it everyday
LittleChambers
December 5th, 2021
@blueSquare2737 Hello!
Firstly good work reaching out here. Many people don't even bother looking for help, so it's always important to give credit to those who do.
I'm not a doctor, and cannot give you medical advice - but I wanted to say I understand. People who take drugs, are usually people who have various emotional and/or physical challenges in life, and this can affect their behaviour, choices and judgements in life.
You are correct, when you rely on substances that can only be distributed by people who likely have an array of challenges and problems, it can be very inconvenient.
Your brain is sending you cravings and urges to have these substances, because you get a pay off of relief and "good" feelings when you take them. Which is why it is difficult to stop. On a smaller scale, this is similar to smoking and eating junk food. The brain naturally increases desire for things that make you feel good, and resistance feels impossible.
You deserve a life where you can choose to interact only with people who make you feel safe and respected. At the moment, that choice is conflicted by your urges for feeling good. It's funny, because logically, you cant really feel good properly when in the company of thieves, thugs, liars, bullies... etc, these aren't bad people, they are just people who make bad choices.
I can't give you a magic solution unfortunately - but keep reaching out here. Find a doctor you trust, and confide in them that you are struggling. They can give you guidance, and you should approach this with an open mind - but just one choice at a time. Try their advice, the worst that can happen is that your journey to finding a solution will still be in process if their advice wasn't the finish line.
If it's okay, I'd like to suggest Atomic Habits by James Clear. This is not a "quit drugs" resource, but it might help break down the steps to your solution. Maybe your answer can begin with you committing to 1% better each fortnight. That might be leaving 1% of the substance behind when taking the drug, and saying to yourself - I'm never taking that 1% again. It could be saying, can I wait 20 minutes each day, before taking my dose as usual? And what can I do to feel good for those 20 minutes instead, while waiting. Or it could be saying, from now on I'm going to write down 3 reasons I don't want to be making this choice, and how it makes me feel, before I take the dose.
I cannot urge you to quit, but I can tell you that everyone deserves to surround themselves with people they love and avoid the people who make them feel anything less than safe and happy.