My Girlfriend is severly depressed.
Hey, I‘m 19 years old and I’ve been dating my 18 year old girlfriend since 1 year. In this year i got to know her really well and i discovered that she is severly depressed, has suicidal thoughts and does selfharm.
Her father left her and her family when she was little so she grew up only with her narcisstic mother which thinks depression is just a lazy excuse for weak people. The relationship between the two is very difficult since her mother always starts to fight with her when she does something she doesn’t agree with. She tries to controll her in any aspect in her life. She even tries to force her to go study something she doesn’t want to study at all.
Until now she hasn‘t even noticed that her daughter is depressed and does selfharm. So she is very worried telling her and destroying there perfect picture of her since her family (mother and granpfather) have really high expectations.
Until now i thought it would get better if I am there for her, help her in any way possible but still give her her space when she needs and asks for it. Since she’s doing a year abord i thought it would get better there since her mother isn’t around that mich anymore but I was wrong. Now we‘re at a point where I am really worried about her. I talked to her about getting therapy but she is worried about what other people say about her getting therapy.
So we thought it would be best for her to talk only to her mom since she would be the one paying for the private therapy and ask here if she could tell no one.
I offered I could do that since I somehow always had a good relationship with her mom. The year abord is ending in 1 month and she agreed that I could talk to her mom when she is back but only if I leave out the selfharm and suicidal thoughts. I think it‘s the only chance to get private therapy since we both are studends which can’t afford it on our own.
I wanted to ask you for help or your opinion. Do you think it‘s a good idea.
Thank you for your help in advance.
:)
I've been in a similar situation, i know how hard it must be for you, you're being very brave and doing all you can and I'm really proud of you.
For a depressed person the best thing you could do is, being there for them, keep them assured that you'll be there, you're there, she's not alone, we're in this together, keep assuring her those,
help her make new friends other than the few she already have help her push her boundaries and be what she wants
Take good care of yourself and keep boundaries as you may know what you can't pour from an empty cup, you'll have to recharge yourself by your other positive friends and be strong
Give her tools to manage Anxiety and depression - for example self affirmation apps, 7cups and all
I don't know if asking her mother would be a good idea - you should really think it through very critically as it may damage the cause more than repairing it - really be careful about it
It definitely is true that the only way out is through therepy
Some tips could be
- connecting to people and communities
- postive self talk
- doing self care activities
At last I feel it's a lot in brain and all you have to do is get out of it and not staying with it, i know it is easier said than done you've to be really strong for a really long time :) may love guide you the way
I would really suggest to get therepy 2-3 sessions atleast - it'll be helpful in getting professional tools and ways to get better, you know you can look for online Indian therepist maybe it'll be cheaper for you.
My advises are not professional so reconsider everything and see a therepist
Thanks so much for your tips.
