Being Taken For Granted
In today’s relationships, many people feel taken for granted — like their love, time, and effort aren’t valued the way they should be. This can trigger a lot of hurt and overthinking. Why do you think this happens so often now, and how do you believe someone should handle it?
@Tanwiiii
I think it's about active presence.
Communication.
Firm boundaries.
Honesty.
Checking in with each other, to see what it is you both expect from the relationship!
💜🥰
@Tanwiiii I constantly feel taken for granted because I give my time and really want to help give advice or assist with a problem, most of the time, the person is just selfish and is used to me being there for them, without asking in return, Oh are you busy or Do you need support?
I ought to speak up more, I just find it difficult when it is barely ever heard, so what is the point?
Now after a long time, I'm trying to put my needs first, but with that comes guilt..
@ScrabbleBrain I really feel your words… it’s so painful when your kindness and presence go unnoticed. But you should never feel guilty for putting yourself first — that’s called self-respect, not selfishness.The right people will value you without you having to beg for it. Keep protecting your energy and speaking your truth — the ones who truly care will listen, and the rest don’t deserve that space in your heart....take care stay well...
@Tanwiiii Thanks for your meaningful response and what you say, is how it should be..
However I grew up being taught to squash my needs and cater to everyone else, no matter how disrespectful they were..
So that's what I wrestle with, friends I can dismiss, family is harder..
Truly never ever feel guilty about putting yourself first !!!! you are important and YOU are the only one in this entire world that can truly make YOU happy!!! It starts with YOU
I think alot has to do with lack of communication... It's difficult at first when it's still new and the quote on quote honeymoon phase is still going strong to be open about what you expect and what your needs are in a relationship is not the easiest to talk about but if it's not said then there are boundaries that are across and sometimes there's no going back....
@naturesbeauty1234 You’re absolutely right — communication sets the foundation of every relationship.Sometimes it’s scary to open up about our needs, but silence often creates bigger gaps later. Being honest from the start isn’t weakness, it’s courage, and it helps us avoid feeling invisible. Boundaries are not walls, they are bridges to healthy love. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful perspective...
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Same to you my friend! Perfectly said!
Ghosting is unprofessional and is also unloving in a relationship. Too many people a 1st date may think it has to be traditional dinner, movie, snacks, another fun thing and in an expensive economy it can cost 100 or more. It is okay to call a meet n greet between two people as long as both of you know its a date.
I think a 1st date can be successful leading to a relationship or successful in having a good time and agreeing both of you are not meant to be. Like finding out person A likes only ____ and person B likes____.
I do not like dating Aps because a person doesnt really have much control on whose profile you see. A human should not have to "cast a wide net" in a large city to find a single person.
I think its disheartening we people allow too much of outside opinion dictate our dating styles. What i am NOT typing is if an individual dater is NOT ready then it is okay to admit it to a close friend and/or therapist---a silly reason for person A to not date could be important reason to person B; however, person A does not need to be "dragged in the mud" because person A can also have their reason important to them not to date. This senario can be the same vice versa B A B A
I can also incorrect about my typing.
@Caramellove118
Hey, I agree with you on most points here for sure. Especially about the ghosting.
However, not everyone knows if they are ready or not for dating unless they have that date. You can be therapy for forever, but not truly know if you are ready or not. What is important is listening.
I'm the type that does coffee as a first date, including off the apps when I was using them. Sounds like you have had a lot of first dates that did not go well.
@Tanwiiii I grew up in a home where I wasn't respected or heard, that my time or how I felt did not matter. Often, because of this, people have taken advantage of my kindness because of my need of being needed or cared for. I should be more careful on time and energy I spend on other people, if my needs or emotional needs are not respected or heard.
I have gone to therapy for a long time off and on, support groups, etc, and told that I was good at non violent communication, and perhaps, not everything is my fault. Sadly, in the word emotional manipulators, emotional abusers and narcissistic people or others with deep trauma that refuse to get help and would rather blame or shame others as opposed to actually having a disagreement with a proper resolution that respects others, or pretending it didn't happen, or ignoring someone's emotions or point of view appropriately.
Maybe it can be lack of communication. Settling for low effort. Accepting that you don't deserve more than bad treatment. Bad views on what actually means to love someone. Lack of accountability and not knowing how to hold others accountable. (I say all of this with me in mind)
@Tanwiiii Absolutely true. But you're not alone
Some people are not interested in love
I think our society does a lot of work to make people believe that all of their friends and loved ones are disposable. Cutting people off is almost glorified on social media.
My experience is, people will cut you off for anything and everything. One wrong move, you're gone. This is how it was with my ex. One day she was so close to me, and the next she had just moved on to the next guy like it was nothing at all.
@Tanwiiii@mlwhit83Hello how are you doing i am olivier jean i will love to be friends with you , you can write me an email so that we can get to know more each other , olivierjean_co1@yahoo.fr