Family palava

My mother and father relationship is complicated. One minute the are okay and the next they are not. My father did a lot or bad and hurtful things to my mother but she still stayed. She went as far as selling her lands, selling her properties to support him but he never appreciates or even takes care of her like a man is meant to. I know they say that marriage is equal partnership, but it feels like she is the only one in the marriage to me. My father was idle for more than 5 years doing nothing and my mother was the bread winner, she never made him feel less of himself or so. She helped him get on his feet and now he is on his feet he is stingy asf. He doesn't give her money, her mother died and he didn't contribute or give her any money for her mom burial. He is always taking and taking and taking. He has cheated, he has locked her out of the house before even when he wasn't working and he wanted her to quit the job that was putting food on the table. He has done a lot. I love my father and I'm even closer to him than my mother but that doesn't mean I am blind to his abuse. I hate him so so much for the things he has done and the things he is still doing. I can't help but also hate my mother too for always going back to him and staying with him. We have begged her and told her to leave him but whenever we try to make her see things, she get offended and start attacking us and defending him. Everyday she is complaining about how my father is a bad man and she regrets marrying him but whenever he treats her nice(in pretense of trying to get something from her) she stops complaininy for a while and then continues. I'm 25 years old, I'm ashamed to say I have not found anything that can feed me or give me money but the minute I do, I will disappear on my father and mother. I will fulfill my financial obligation to them but I will disappear and will not look back. Right now I feel so miserable and my family isn't a place where feelings are spoken abiut, I'm this close to ending this miserable life