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How do I control self-loathe? Or am I really a bad person?

User Profile: CassianLocke
CassianLocke July 13th, 2025

I'm starting to think I'm sad for nothing and I hate myself for that. I've always been told I had way too much self-loathe but the thing is, I feel that I have a lot of reason for that. It's like I create my own problems. I have a perfectly normal life, family and friends who are very supportive and an ideal environment. Yet I'm always somehow making it seem sad for myself. When the people around me get in tight situations I always end up finding a way to make it about me and how it's my fault, then all of a sudden, I get the comfort and attention that other people need. I don't have problems, I create them. How do I stop? I have friends who have it harder than me, don't tell me not to compare my problems to others, I can't stop. No matter how many times I vent to others with such self-loathe, I've never gotten a good answer. I know most of the time venting never does it's job completely but I still try desperately. Honestly, I just hate how I always make it about me. My problems. I'm always exaggerating things when I talk about it to my friends who've had it way worse when I've got it way better than them. I used to tell them I don't sleep when it's not that hard, I would tell them I don't eat but I do, I would tell them everything's been so hard lately but I've been smiling and laughing. And yet I cry now. Because all of this pretend sadness has been hard to differentiate from reality. Somehow everything that was easy before started becoming harder. Somehow I find myself truly starving myself, hardly getting sleep, now I've actually been stressed and getting sick. And now all I can think about is that fact that I deserve this, it's all my fault, I created these problems and now I have to face the truth. After all of these realizations, somehow I can still bring myself to exagerrate more, to pretend to have things worse than it already is. And I can't stop myself, for whatever reason that is. I just can't stop hating and hating and hating. I created my own problems

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User Profile: Voodvins
Voodvins July 13th, 2025
@CassianLocke This is a difficult situation and you are in a serious vicious circle. Yes, this often happens to people who have unstable self-esteem. And probably at some point in the past you were compared to someone or accused of something, right? You may not remember it, but it is a common story. Well, this is all a lie. Yes, in some situations we can do more, that is true, but most often we are just observers. In your situation, the most important thing is to accept your problem and you have already done it. Now you need to try to reduce your worries by at least one percent. Maybe in some situation there really was nothing that could be done? Or were you powerless? Or maybe other people are to blame for this. You elevate others, making them "cool", although often this is not true at all. You deserve all the good things, and you will definitely get it, but it is not an easy job. In any case, you are not alone, so hold on!
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