Need help with managing jealousy and insecurity in a relationship
New to this app idk how it works but i need someone who is good in relation advices to help me on this , my gf goes to uni and like i trust her alot i would trust her with my life even. The thing is we are muslims and i ask her to wear abaya as its religious and this and that but in the end its because i dont want guys having “ something “ to look at so they can flirt with her or what if she doesnt tell me and it just i get jealous of guys around her even and we argue over this so much that she doesnt wanna wear abaya and this and that and i wanna know how can i overcome this jealousy , it will bit me later on life too when she has to do a job and i will get jealous and i cant force her to quit hee job. So yeah anyone with solutions
@Needrlsadvice
Hello. Reading your message I understand you may feel insecure, anxious or worried.
Experienced people from my environment used to say: When you have something what is very important to you (like a relationship, friendship or job) just let it go. If it was meant for you, it quickly comes back to you. If it doesn't, it was never yours.
From my own history or observations, I might have a bigger tendency to be jealous:
1. When my self-esteem is low, and I think there are not many reasons for the other person to stay with me.
2. When I see my partner as somebody "too good for me", who could easily find someone better for her or him.
3. When I've got some bad experience about faithfulness - e.g. I knew a guy who as a child saw his mother cheating on his dad; obviously, his faith in women was devastated for the most of his life.
4. When your partner seems to be neglectful about his or her boundaries towards others, or behaves in a careless way, which makes you doubt his or her loyalty.
Last but not least, I am not a person of any religion, but I believe no matter how hard we try, most things on the world happen according to the God's will.
Also, I believe it might be important to remember we are all born and die empty-handed. No matter if it's just for one day, or for the rest of your life - all friendship, relationship, love are given to us "just for a while".
Well your spot on with the second point i found out my mom did and i had to stay quiet to keep my family together but i wanna know how to overcome this im done with this jealousy i want her and me to be happy
This is an amazing reply.