Prioritizing

@AshleyNFlewellenLPC

Thank you for the thought-provoking questions. I plant to limit my screen usage, incorporate physical movement and go out for a stroll often.

Umm to be honest, the only times the phone get's left alone is when I'm ready to sleep and when it's turned off and left on the charger.

For me it's a de-stressing tool during my day.

I'm not sure if going outside to take out the bins count? Ha, the humidity is horrible and taking my energy at present.

I do try to appreciate the small things, because I'm overrun with stress so if something nice happens, it's a celebration, a temporary lightness, which I'm grateful for, because it's rare :)

@AshleyNFlewellenLPC

I tend to never have my phone with me during the day or in bed.

I love being outside, fresh air is my main go to.

@AshleyNFlewellenLPC My phone is often away. I just spent over a week in dead zone. No cell service what so ever. 

I'm actually really active with work. I need to find 5 minutes of inactivity (getting it now lol) 

I struggle with gratitude and appreciating the little things. I don't think it's that I'm ungrateful? But maybe I am? 

I'm outside right now and have been since 6am. 

@AshleyNFlewellenLPC

Reading these questions made me realize how little attention I have been giving myself lately.

The truth is that my mental health has not been my priority for a while.

I have been struggling with insomnia for some time now, and instead of slowing down, I kept pushing myself forward as if exhaustion was something I could simply ignore.

Then, a few hours ago, my member account was suddenly deactivated.

Since that moment, it feels like all the stress, anxiety, and exhaustion I had been carrying finally crashed down on me at once.

When was the last time I put my phone away completely?

I honestly cannot remember.

Since the deactivation, I have been checking messages, reading support articles, submitting requests, and looking for answers over and over again.

Have I made time for movement today?

Not really.

Most of the day has been spent sitting, worrying, crying, and staring at screens while waiting for something I cannot control.

How often do I appreciate the little things?

Usually, I try to.

But today everything feels overshadowed by uncertainty.

Have I been outside today?

No.

I have barely had the energy to take care of myself.

I have barely eaten.

I have barely slept.

My eyes are swollen from crying.

My mind feels exhausted, yet it refuses to rest.

What this post reminded me is that no matter how important an account, a platform, or an outcome may be, I cannot afford to completely abandon myself while waiting.

Right now, my appeal is submitted.

The review process is already underway.

There is nothing more I can do at this exact moment.

What I can do is try to drink some water.

Try to eat something small.

Try to rest my eyes.

Try to give my mind a break from replaying the same fears over and over.

I don't know what the final outcome will be.

I don't know how long the waiting will take.

But I do know that if I continue running on stress, anxiety, and almost no sleep, I will only hurt myself more.

Maybe prioritizing my mental health today means accepting that I deserve care too, even while everything feels uncertain.

Maybe the most important thing on my to-do list right now is simply surviving this difficult day with kindness toward myself. 💙