Question of the Day

@AshleyNFlewellenLPC I'd say I'm attempting to make peace with my consciousness, but it isn't going entirely well, it's a war, not a battle.

@AshleyNFlewellenLPC

Right now, I am trying to make peace with uncertainty.

A few hours ago, my member account was deactivated.

I submitted an appeal and requested a review, but now there is nothing left for me to do except wait.

That is the hardest part.

I keep wanting answers immediately.

I keep wanting certainty.

I keep wanting someone to tell me exactly what will happen next.

But nobody can give me those answers right now.

So I am trying to make peace with not knowing.

I am trying to make peace with the fact that some situations cannot be solved overnight.

I am trying to make peace with the possibility that I may have been misunderstood.

I am trying to make peace with the reality that I cannot control the review process.

The truth is, I am scared.

I have been dealing with insomnia even before this happened, and tonight everything feels heavier.

I have barely slept.

I have barely eaten.

My eyes are swollen from crying.

My mind keeps replaying the same worries over and over again.

Yet somewhere inside me, I know that constantly fighting reality will only exhaust me further.

So today, I am trying to accept what I cannot change in this moment.

The appeal has been submitted.

My voice has been heard.

My explanation has been written.

The rest is no longer in my hands.

I am not at peace yet.

Not completely.

But I am trying.

And maybe sometimes making peace with something does not mean feeling okay about it.

Maybe it simply means deciding not to let it destroy you while you wait for tomorrow. 🌙💙