RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM

Financial and effort problems have been on my mind for a long time. Back then, my partner was already working, and I also had my own source of income. Most of his salary went to paying for his motorcycle, and I understood that because I knew it was something important for him. I never expected expensive things from him. Even small efforts that didn’t require money would have meant a lot to me because I’m not a materialistic person.

But most of the time, his focus has always been on himself and his own wants. Now we’ve been together for 3 years and we’re already living in the same house. I also have a stable income, but as a woman, I started questioning why I’m the one carrying most of the financial responsibilities in our home. Groceries, bills, appliances — most of those expenses come from me, while he continues focusing on his own hobbies and personal interests.

Sometimes I ask myself, what am I in this relationship? Does he even see me? Does he notice my efforts?

There are also times when he says hurtful things to me. When he comes home from work, he’s usually focused on online games. Even on his days off, most of his attention goes to gaming or his motorcycle. Sometimes I feel invisible in this relationship.

Whenever I try to open up about my feelings, he says I’m just “throwing back” everything I’ve done for him. But that’s not who I am. I was not raised by my parents to keep score or make someone feel indebted to me. Even if I had the right to do that, I still wouldn’t.

There are times when, if I stop buying groceries and leave it all to him, we end up lacking basic needs and struggling while waiting for his salary. That’s why I feel like I have no choice but to spend more, because money comes to me faster and I can’t just let us suffer.

I’ve also suggested that maybe he could look for a better job or another opportunity that could make life easier for both of us, but he doesn’t want to. It feels like he doesn’t want to make changes or find ways for us to improve our situation together.