Real talk about friendship and growth

 I joined university with so many expectations. I thought it’d be a fresh start of new friendships, laughter, bonding, memories. We were all just out of school, so I believed most of us would still carry that playful, warm energy. I went in as my true self  cheerful, kind, and open  but I slowly realized I didn’t really fit in.

I tried making friends and joined different groups, but people judged me for it. I was often made the joke of the group — they treated me like I was silly or naive. And I let it happen because I was afraid of being left out. I thought staying quiet would protect the connections I had.

I did have a guy friend who was very close to me he was probably the only one who made me feel safe in that whole environment. But people didn’t leave that alone either. My class started mocking us, saying we had a “friends with benefits” relationship  something that was completely untrue. It hurt deeply. That one friendship where I found peace became another reason for people to laugh at me.

And then… he dropped out. After that, I was completely alone. I lived far from home in a hostel, and the only group I was around was a tightly bonded friend circle that existed long before I came. I tried to blend in — I followed them around just so I wouldn’t feel like I had no on

But even in that group, I was always at a distance. They were never unkind, but I wasn’t really part of them either. I was just tagging along, hoping to feel something close to belonging. And slowly I asked myself: why am I trying so hard for people who don’t even try to understand me? That question was the beginning of a shift in me.

That’s when I stopped. I stopped doing things just to be accepted. Earlier, I used to help others with their assignments and tasks just to feel included. But not anymore. I started managing my emotions by myself instead of depending on someone else to make me feel okay.

I realized the friend group I was around didn’t really try to include me — they were nice, but always kept a friendly distance. So instead of following people around just to feel part of a group, I accepted that. I stayed friends with them, but I didn’t chase it anymore.

I even made a few more friends in college later on, but I always kept my boundaries and never got too dependent on anyone.

Yes, I still kept friends  they helped me with studies, or we’d go on girls’ outings,. But I had boundaries. I wasn’t anyone’s “best friend,” and that was fine. What I noticed in some groups was that everything had to be shared or explained if someone didn’t want to go out, they had to give reasons, explain to everyone, maybe even go anyway just to keep the peace. I didn’t want that.