The feeling of guilt
I ran away from my abusive toxic family ihave been with them 30 years i tried to cpntact my mother she blocked me actully i married a gur whose been with for 10 years and they threaten to ki*ll me after all i keep thinking how i can live withput them all life long and sometimes i remember some beautifull memories with my mum and cry in the middle of eating or sitting with my husband although she hurts me so deeply. And my husband has the same wound from his mother and we always fight and sometimes we hurt each other but then opologize and regret it how can we heal how can i heal and live freely
@passionateEyes6948
I’m so glad you’re no longer around your toxic family, but it sounds like you still carry the emotional scars, and maybe have PTSD. It sounds like your husband is in a similar situation. Perhaps both of you are still grieving over the tragedy of your past.
It’s admirable that you still appreciate the beautiful memories with your mom. My family was toxic as well, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t good moments.
It sounds like both you and your husband have a lot of emotional issues to work through due to your pasts. Such issues are complex, and even more so if negative relationship habits exist. If you are “always fighting,” it sounds like some kind of couples counseling or therapy is needed for both of you.
It’s quite heroic that you’ve been together for 10 years, despite your wounds. Imagine how your relationship might be if those wounds are treated.
@Spiritriver i really thank you for your message actullay it made me smile yes we are trying to heal to work on our emotional issues and burden we crashed the first day we are married and under the same roof but its been two years it seems like our conflict find a way to peace although we still fight sometimes but its less intense less hurtful abd yeah there are alot of toxic relationship habit inherited from the time we were with our mums but still trying to make things better and thats what we made us stay together and continue to love eachother but i know that each of us also suffering on his own those nights whenwe cant sleep thinking of the past the lossess the hurt our future .. btw i loved the word heroic because i feel that we have done somthing heroic and i enjoy that feeling and proud of that but there is a price to all of this and tge price was heavy on us but thank God we still manage to live and have mo.ents of happiness and peace i dont if i would talk to my mom again even she hurt me but sometimes i remember those happy moments and tell to myself i would only want to keep this mempry i dont want to remember anything bad and painful from her if we wont talk forever maybe yes maybe no i dont know thats What God wanted i wish someday can talk to her from far just making sure that she is ok just because of those moments but maybe i am dreaming ans she has different feelings its ok i hope someday we would heal all these wounds and feel better i hope so inshalla 🙏
@passionateEyes6948
It sounds like you’ve already done some of the most difficult work, which means healing is in progress. I’m glad you’re aware of relationship habits.
I started out to talk about some of the common problems in a relationship, especially those in which partners are coming from a toxic background. Then after some time typing, I realized that the list is pretty large, and there may be potential to introduce or suggest problems that may not exist.
Feel free to message me if you think I may be of help.
@Spiritriver i sent a message ..thank you very much
@passionateEyes6948 I’m so sorry you’ve been through such pain. Healing takes time, and it’s okay to feel all those mixed emotions. Take care 💜