Step 13: Should You Punish Yourself?

A frequent question typically arises: “If rewards are so powerful for increasing steps toward my goal, then I should punish myself when I don’t perform those steps, right?” Well, actually, no. 

Psychologists prefer not to use punishment frequently because of nasty and unintended side effects that can derail you. More specifically, punishment can leave you feeling discouraged, make you think you are a failure, cause you to avoid productive behaviors, and become more aggressive or punishing to other people. Punishment tends to foster certain behaviors that do nothing to reinforce the positive behavior and can actually trigger a whole other set of problems. Punishment does not direct us to the better alternative; it only suppresses behavior temporarily. 

For these reasons, minimize punishing yourself, both in your daily behavior and in your thoughts. Rewards are more effective in the long run. Less stick and more carrot.