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What do I do when my husband is depressed?

117 Answers
Last Updated: 05/17/2021 at 3:10pm
What do I do when my husband is depressed?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Monique Bivins, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have a real passion for helping my clients to overcome life's obstacles . My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive, and interactive.

Top Rated Answers
April 10th, 2016 3:27pm
Recognize that the symptoms of depression are not personal. If you feel slighted by your husband's behavior, know that it is his own way of coping with emotions he cannot process. The best thing for him is to seek professional help. Along the way, you can provide emotional support and try to keep the line of communication open between the two of you.
April 27th, 2016 2:32pm
This is something that can be incredibly overwhelming - when your partner is depressed, it really has an impact on you. Firstly, maybe most importantly, you must understand that it is not personal and it's not your fault. It can feel hurtful when you can't make your husband happy, or it might even make you feel like you're not enough. That's not true at all. It's very important for you to know that. Secondly, try to encourage your husband to seek professional help. Going to a doctor or talking to a therapist may really help. Thirdly, I would encourage you to be there for your husband in whatever way he needs you. If he wants to talk, make sure he knows you're willing to listen. If he doesn't want to talk, don't force him, but show him that you will always be there for him. Try different things - if he's very depressed and doesn't want to get out of bed, try to softly encourage him to go to a park with you or go for a walk. If he really doesn't want to, lie down in bed with him. Show him through your actions that you love him. Do try different things - try to encourage him to go out and do activities. Try to make sure he has something to look forward to, whether it's his favourite meal or surprising him with something he's been wanting to buy or something. If he's not responsive to any of these things, keep trying to encourage him to go to a doctor/talk to a therapist. Stay strong for yourself and your husband! And know that you always have someone to talk to whenever you need any extra support :)
April 8th, 2016 3:40pm
i think the best you can do is be strong for the both of you. but not in a way that he would feel like a burden to you. let yourself save each other. you guys have to work together in order to see this through. that's what marriage is about right?
April 11th, 2016 4:42am
Not everything needs professional help. Its normal. Everyone gets a phase down now and then. Thats how we cope with life. Question 1: Is he always depressed and to himself? If yes, he probably needs some active intervention from your side. Meaning... you take time off whatever else you were doing to try and take things off his shoulder till he can be back up by himself. Take things off his shoulder such as worrying about bills, breakfast, and everything else. This could indicate a shift of responsibility control from him to you(If you're willing to take it). Take him out some place. Try to get him relaxed.. But dont be compelling. Make it look like its for the kids and not so he'll know you're trying to help him out. Men can sometimes be so chauvinistic that they will not give into sharing their worries, even if they know that cant decide on a solution to it. Once he's relaxed, that should give him enough courage to talk about whats getting to him. Try getting your common friends involved. But not so they can bug him about whats going on . Its just to distract his thoughts for a while and later he WILL talk. Dont let his depression get to you. You're his support. Be Strong, be there for him. Question 2: If its like a normal interval sorrow. Best to leave him to himself. Every man likes their cave of thought. He would never give into sharing if he's being nagged into answering whats getting him low. And if he does give you an answer after you're nagged him. Its probably a lie so you wont ask him again. This also would seal certainty of him not wanting to discuss further issues again at home. Something you wouldnt want. Hope that helped.
April 16th, 2016 1:10pm
Be there for him, love him support him, trust him. And most of all understand him. He needs to be understand to be loved and cared for. He needs to know that you are there for him always and you would never judge him.
April 29th, 2016 5:03pm
Let him know he's not alone in his hard times. Depression only goes away when the ''victim'' sees support, love and care.
May 4th, 2016 1:30am
Taking your husband to counselling or therapist is the best option. However, you must realize that you have to be with him and ask him to share things with you. Having a supportive and heathy conversations is the best help that you can give him.
May 20th, 2016 8:46pm
You can be there for him. Simply being present for somebody can do wonders for their state of mind. Communicating your love and acceptance can be helpful as well.
June 26th, 2016 7:48am
Support him by listening and being his truest friend. Help him explore his troubles to better understand and grasp what he's going through.
April 8th, 2016 7:02am
Its good to listen to why he is depressed and be supportive. Also if he is not getting better or talking to any1 about it encourage him to see a therapist/counselor to help him.
April 9th, 2016 4:40am
During marriage always communicate and when husband is negative. do not react if he is negative, He is only saying bad things to knock your self esteem and is nasty sometimes to make you feel some of how he feels inside. Generally if your suffering depression you dont like yourself and feel awkward in positive situations because you feel like you dont fit in. Being married to someone who suffers depression can be difficult, as a wife you need to be understanding and do not take what they say to seriously when negative, as they dont really mean it. Inside they are feeling pain in the symbol of saddness and hate for themselves. Understand, help and love them inside they are also the person you fell in love with.
April 9th, 2016 9:43pm
When your husband or spouse is depressed it is never easy. You just need to show as much love and support you can towards him to show him you care.
April 13th, 2016 8:11am
You should probably try to talk to him. Show that you're there for him. Try to understand him and don't make assumptions. Give advices to him if you deem it necessary. Make him happy and you both should probably go for a short vacation.
April 13th, 2016 1:35pm
offer your assistance and make sure that he sees to keeping himself (at least physically) healthy. The best thing you can do is to make sure he knows you're there for him.
April 13th, 2016 8:11pm
While empathy and patience are important, it is most important to recognise that many psychological problems are biologically based and medicine may be required to rectify things at a biological level before counselling can be effective. Look into getting him professional help and make sure he knows he has your full support!
April 14th, 2016 3:05am
Be the best listening ear you know how to be; relationships succeed on sharing and facing emotional struggles together.
April 15th, 2016 9:05am
Try talk to him. Ask emphatically he feeling and why he thinks he feels this way and that u are there for him and arrange go to his gp
April 15th, 2016 2:58pm
first make him his favorite meal and then kiss him,and try to find out the reason,and then solve it!
April 17th, 2016 11:25pm
Show empathy towards him. Talk to him about it and try to find the source of the problem. In times like this, it is sometimes best to co go have an in-person talk with a psychologist.
April 21st, 2016 6:25am
The first step is to make sure your husband is getting the treatment he needs for the depression. As for yourself, you must be willing to have a joint agreement. You need to create compatibility by taking each other's feelings into account
April 21st, 2016 7:49am
If your husband is depressed, be patient with him. Depression is life changing. He will b not be himself. Just be there with him, help hi through it.
April 22nd, 2016 4:52pm
You help him. Try and understand how he is feeling, and try to understand how depression works. He cant help feeling that way, but he can improve it by getting medical help. I know alot of people are scared of anti depressants, but i take them and they changed everything for me.
April 23rd, 2016 12:39am
Depression can be very challenging for the struggling individual as well as everyone around them. Is there anything specifically that you can think of that he might enjoy? I'd like to suggest spending additional time with your husband, whenever possible to help him understand that he's not alone and is loved.
April 24th, 2016 4:07pm
Read about depression, try and understand it better, and don't try to give advice. Having had a depression for four years now, there are things I truly value and things I truly hate about my mom's behaviour - I value the little things; getting a hug, when I reach out. When she fetches me something to drink or eat if I don't have the energy to get it myself. Remember that: you don't know what he's going through, but tell him that you want to be there and help him help himself. Ease his burden any way possible, and try to not get upset, offended or angry if he's in a bad mood, because he can't help it.
April 27th, 2016 12:57pm
Try talking to him about how he feels or find him a therapist for him. Make sure you support him and are there for him.
April 27th, 2016 4:26pm
All you can do is support him, if he has depression. It's not a visible thing for most people, but when it is, it's not just the person being affected, it's the others too.
April 28th, 2016 5:05am
Lend a helping hand. If your husband is sad, you're there to raise him. Have a good talk about it. :)
April 28th, 2016 12:21pm
The best thing to do is learn why he feels the way he does and bring positivity to the situation :)
April 29th, 2016 9:30pm
Firstly try to communicate with him don't force him to cheer up rather ask him about his condition and then try to contact your health care provider for further help.
April 30th, 2016 10:54am
Show him that your love is unconditional no matter what. That you will stick with him, there is no pulling him out of depression. You have to show him the lights at the end of the tunnel