Why can't I feel connected to anyone in my real life but I become close to people online?
Last Updated: 03/14/2020 at 10:50am
Stacey Kiger, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
My belief is that therapy is not about giving advice, but joining you on your journey
Top Rated Answers
This may be due to you feeling less pressure to conform/act a certain way around others. Being online (behind a screen) gives you the control to construct an image/persona that can be virtually anything you wish. Of course some people take this to extremes, but for you it may just be that you feel more comfortable to open up, and indulge in/share your interests and stories with others. Being happy, confident, and open are all dependable methods to getting close and connecting to people, so you may just exude these traits online more than in real life. Hope this helped!
connection means feeling safe with someone whether emotionally or physically having something in common and understanding and sharing feelings to each other nothing less or more so if someone cannot feels connection to anyone in real life it means there is lack in what i said for instance people with social phobia cannot feel safety with someone or people who haven't empathy or people who don't want share their emotion with others like avoidant personality disorders...the key is having something in common whether a goal or a path even a common pain but not sharing an individual pain but sharing happiness so a person who cannot feel connection in real life but can feel connection in cuber world it means he/she has something wrong in his/her presence probably he/she has bad body image or cannot establish eye contact or cannot keep up conversation because his/her thought speed or brain wave is in different level with others or all of these or his/her interpretation and subjective but effect on their relationship and again self confidence and having something in common being eager for establish connection is essential that's all i know about connection between two person in real life.
I think you don't feel connected to anyone in your real life as you are scared that they would judge you on your appearance or on the way you talk and such. But while online there is nothing for you to fear on those matters so you are able to talk to people freely and get closer to them. If you stop feeling scared, everything would be normal. Every time you feel that someone would judge you, remember that in the universe, the Earth is like a tiny dot and on that tiny dot it shouldn't matter even if someone judged you. Be true to yourself and be free with those who care.
It might be caused by either fear judgement from those you already know, or perhaps you feel that talking to someone you don't know will give you distance. When we don't know someone but we're to talking to them through technology, we may feel safer and since we're talking to a stranger there's a mental note that there's a slim chance of meeting them in real life. Sometimes you might even feel people may reject you in person, even if they're a friend. From whatever the reason may be, trust might be on the mind during the talking process. For example, you might prefer strangers online than a friend if you don't think that person will be any help. What matters is which you're comfortable with so it's okay! Lastly, when we don't know someone there's always that 50-50 chance of them meeting your "requirements", but since you don't know them while you're seeking help you must presume they really are there for you (since you don't know them, you may feel they're a better friend than the ones you have; since you have a lower chance of seeing them in person as I stated before). 7 Cups is always an option, so if you ever need an ear this is a good place to be.
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