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How can I be sure I am lonely?

138 Answers
Last Updated: 01/03/2022 at 2:06pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jill Kapil, PsyD


I have over 9 years of clinical experience, specialize in anxiety, and am passionate about my work. My approach is collaborative, empathic, supportive, and goal-oriented.

Top Rated Answers
August 14th, 2016 7:00pm
when you have no one to talk to about the things that means the most to you. that's how you know you're lonely
October 9th, 2016 5:38am
You are lonely when you feel like you don't want to talk to anyone, when you feel you don't exist in this normal world, when you don't wish to come out of your worries, when you start to think that being alone keeps you better, and finally when you consider yourself an introvert.
July 28th, 2016 9:32pm
When you feel that you are stranded on a island and theres nobody there to talk to and that theres no hope,when you feel alone in a crowd sitting in a corner with your cellphone opening and closing apps just so people think your busy and social but in reality you are merely looking into a void. When you are having lunch with your family but feel like your alone in the room because nobody wants to talk to you so you quickly fisnish to go upstairs and put on your headphones
August 28th, 2016 9:11pm
I feel lonely if I don't have anyone to share my ideas with , or to tell them about my day..or feel so distant from others
August 31st, 2016 6:41pm
When you don't feel at peace with your solitude/ current crowd and think seeking out/ being on your own will make you fell better, you're lonely.
August 16th, 2020 1:57am
Lonliness isn't a constant to be sure of. It's a 'feeling' felt when you think you are all alone and there's no one for you.( Concentrate on the word feeling).It's even possible for us to feel lonely even when surrounded by people. Since it's a feeling, it can change with changing situations. So, there's no surety for that feeling. Maybe you feel lonely because apparently, the people who are in your life currently are not able to truly understand and satisfy your idea of a friend, relative or even your partner. However, you could choose to eliminate that feeling, by spending more time with people who truly understand and care for you and give you importance.
September 24th, 2018 6:52pm
Having an empty feeling. Having no one to spend time with for days and not thinking you have "friends". When you don't have anyone to trust except maybe your family. It exists in your thoughts and you feel tired and not motivated to do anything at all. Sometimes this can be very upsetting. Some people listen to music or audios to make themselves feel better. Sometimes sad music and audios. There's nothing wrong with liking to spend time alone. Spending time alone and being lonely is different. Anyone feeling this, I hope you are okay and feel free to message me. x
July 24th, 2016 10:31pm
You can be sure you're lonely if you are in solitude and you feel very alone. You are also lonely if you have no companions.
- Expert in Loneliness
August 2nd, 2016 9:10pm
The best way to frame it is that you feel lonely when you don't have meaningful connections to other people. You feel like there's no one you can turn to, who understands you appreciates you for being you. You can still feel lonely among friends or family, if you don't feel their honest care for you and empathy to understand you, like when everyone around is cheerful but you have a bad day - you and them have to be willing to connect on the same frequency, so to speak. If they try to cheer you up but you don't react, you refuse their offer to connect. If they ignore you - they are not willing to connect. If there's no one you can think of you'd like to connect with - in person or online - you'd also feel lonely.
October 11th, 2016 7:30am
Hiya, Loneliness differs I guess, Some people feel lonely even if there are people around them and some feel lonely if they find themselves alone. Well, it all depends on how much you love yourself and how happy and comfortable you are being alone or around people. Emotions matter too, If you are in a bad state of mind and you need someone to talk to, share stuff and you don't find the right person- I guess that's when you feel the worst.!!!
July 4th, 2018 1:51pm
First of all, you must recognize the difference between being alone and being lonely. You can be lonely in a room full of people. You can be lonely at school, in a classroom, surrounded by friends. You can be lonely anywhere with anyone at any time. I think loneliness reveals itself in your thoughts. If you often feel tired, unmotivated, lacking in optimism for the future, and you find yourself feeling completely outcasted from society, you might be lonely. If you feel as though you have no one to talk to when you're feeling particularly down, you might be lonely. Perhaps, you take long, hot baths or binge-eat - these are also subtle signs of loneliness.
July 24th, 2016 1:08am
You're never lonely. You always have the availability to talk to someone caring and warm-hearted. Even if it's a parent or a sibling, you always have the availability to talk to someone.
July 27th, 2016 2:53am
Feeling lonely is a very personal thing, and I think it's always best to trust what your body is telling you. If you feel alone, that is enough to qualify as feeling lonely.
July 31st, 2016 7:31pm
If you feel alone, then you are lonely. If you are often by yourself when you don't want to be, you are lonely.
August 3rd, 2016 12:45am
You are so close to people but yet you seem so so far away as if you're isolated with the chance of never being heard
August 3rd, 2016 10:45am
There is a difference in being alone and being lonely. When you are alone, there is no one around you, but you can feel lonely even when you are standing in a group of friends because really don't know what you feel, what you think, what you go through.
August 3rd, 2016 3:35pm
You feel lonely - then you are lonely. Different people need different amount of social contact. Few people prefer to be completely alone all the time. Few prefer to be around people any waking minute. There is a wide spectrum of what individuals consider the optimum amount of social interaction. But when you feel you don't have anyone to share your thoughts, problems, fears, happy moments - then I would consider this as a indicator you might be lonely. But in the end what counts is your feeling. But also keep an eye out for denial - I denied that I had a need for someone to share my feelings, thoughts, problems and happy moments. Because I feared to open myself to anymone, I declared that I did not need such a person and that this was normal for me. I learned that this was me in denial of having fear of opening up and denial of being lonely.
August 4th, 2016 12:34am
hi , if you have no friends and you never have any interest meeting new people then you are lonely ,
August 5th, 2016 4:05am
Simply think about how active your social life has been. If it hasnt been active and you are sad about that you are lonley but if it is steadily or very active you shouldn't be as lonley depending on the situation.
August 7th, 2016 6:49am
Loneliness is a feeling, an emotion. If you feel lonely, you are lonely- no debate. You might be feeling lonely because of your own inability to express what you need, or your own unrealistic expectations of a relationship. Or, perhaps you are lonely because you don't have anyone to speak to, and are treated unfairly.
August 11th, 2016 8:43pm
If you feel like you don't have anyone to talk to and you feel alone. Usually if you feel lonely, you are.
August 12th, 2016 9:35pm
If you feel like you're all alone , even if surrounded by people, then that's what I consider to be loneliness. You don't have to be alone to feel lonely, it comes from a social longing deep within
August 19th, 2016 8:23pm
When you're lonely, you can feel it inside. Like a sharp ache that makes your soul raw. You feel starved of attention and contact, both physically and emotionally. It makes you feel desolate, like you're trapped in this place away from everyone else. You can see them, but you can't connect to them. Loneliness effects everyone differently, of course. The above is simply my take. To feel lonely you don't have to be alone.
August 20th, 2016 12:27am
Do you notice that you are alone more often then usual? Do you miss the company of others, without necessarily wanting to be near other people? To me at least that is being lonely.
August 20th, 2016 7:31am
Everything sitting on a head, nobody bite you or something. Only what you need is a make first step
August 21st, 2016 11:16pm
You can be sure that you are lonely when you don't have anyone to talk to and feeling that you aren't apart of a group.
August 25th, 2016 4:47am
loneliness is a human curse and you feed it if you gave it attention , you shouldn't be wondering about that if you want to get over it you should be looking for a distraction , an interest in soething that makes you passionate
August 25th, 2016 11:10am
when there is no one to share with what are you going through!
September 3rd, 2016 11:55am
If only you want you make yourselves happy, then you might be lonely. Talk to yourselves to find the right answer..
September 4th, 2016 2:17pm
No one is really lonely actually, they make theirselves FEELING lonely. Don't let your mind playing tricks on you :)