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Why do I feel the need to hurt myself?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 12/13/2019 at 8:21am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Lisa Meighan, BSc Psychology (Honours)


Hello, I am Lisa and I work in a person-centred approach mixed with cognitive behavioural therapy. I believe we all have the potential to be the best we can be.

Top Rated Answers
June 13th, 2016 11:07am
for me, the reason i self harmed was that, i was able to control the pain i felt on the outside and it distracted me from the pain inside.
September 8th, 2015 10:32am
The pain deep inside cannot be heard or understood by anyone else but me. It gets overpowering when I feel nobody understands my pain (usually it's mental / emotional pain) that it could come to a point, by hurting myself physically.. the pain from the outer layer that can be seen and felt becomes more painful than what's inside for that moment. well of course it's also because of self-hatred, feeling unworthy, worthless, hopeless, etc. However, self-hurt isn't a solution; it's actually a mechanism of avoiding the true struggle that's happening inside.
April 3rd, 2015 8:37am
Sometimes a person has the tendency to hurt himself/herself to be able to bring out the pain that killing him/her inside. The physical pain that he/she inflicts somehow lessen the demise that he/she is experiencing. Some might find hurting himself/herself as an avenue to contain his/her situation.
June 17th, 2015 8:27pm
When I struggled with self harm, it was because I felt numb to any type of emotion. I didn't hurt myself because I wanted to end my life, I hurt myself because I no longer wanted to feel numb.
December 11th, 2017 10:00pm
When you hurt yourself your body releases chemicals called endorphins, these are 'feel good' hormones. Self harm can help you cope with difficult thoughts and feelings and endorphins make us feel better about ourselves.
January 15th, 2015 8:24am
Self-harm might be a way of expressing self-control. It shows you that you have some control over your life. Another reason may be self-punishment.
April 15th, 2015 10:15am
Because sometimes it feels like there is no other way to deal with things. Sometimes all you want to do is take attention away from emotional pain no matter the cost.
June 28th, 2015 10:52am
Because physical pain makes you forget the emotional pain. But once u stop self harming the pain will come back. And so it's always once more.
July 17th, 2017 6:10pm
Sometimes people feel the need to self harm when they are in great emotional distress and they start blamng themselves for everything that has gone wrong in their life. Other times, people use self harming as a means of getting attention from those around them. Regardless of the reason though, self harming will never fix anything. It will not fix one's problems, and it's certainly not a healthy way of asking for attention. Whatever the issue may be, if the urge is intense and you find yourself thinking about it a lot, you should definitely talk about it with someone you trust and someone whom you know is going to be there for you and support you through it. Whether that is a friend, a family member, or even a therapist. Self harm is never the answer to any problem.
May 2nd, 2017 8:45pm
You could be going through a rough time and hurting yourself is a way to release emotions and to sometimes feel better. Right now that could be your best way to release, and that's why you feel the need to. It ends up being a bit like an addiction. But just know that there are options out there, to help you stop and to find healthier methods of release.
July 8th, 2019 1:06pm
Feeling the need to hurt yourself can be surprising and scary. Sometimes, the desire to self-harm can be our minds looking for a way we can control our pain. Our mind confuses hurting ourselves, and causing our own pain, with being able to control the pain people or things outside of us can cause. But the truth of the matter is that people/things outside of us can still cause us pain even when we're already hurting ourselves; so, self-harm isn't really accomplishing what our minds are trying to convince us it will. Try to be strong and out-smart the part of your mind that thinks self-harm will help. Tell your mind that we can't control everything, so we have to learn to cope with pain in healthier ways. Radically accept the truths that 1) life can be painful and 2) we are strong enough to handle that pain in healthy ways.
July 6th, 2018 9:48pm
I think is because the pain inside is too much to handle we want somehow to get distracted
December 13th, 2019 8:21am
The reason why I would hurt myself is because I felt like I had caused a lot of my emotional pain and I wanted to be punished. I wanted to feel worthless, sad and abused by myself because I deserved it. I felt like by me doing that I was showing how much I hated myself and I was embarrassed about it too. I felt like I was going crazy and no one would ever like me because of it. So therefore, I would hate myself even more for self harming. I am still working my way out of this destructive circle but one thing that gets me out of it is to realize that the things I hate about myself don’t define who I am. That is just a part of myself I can work on. They don’t make me a bad person, they just make me a damaged person who is healing.
December 28th, 2015 5:00pm
Why do people feel the need to kill ? or to abuse drugs and alcohol? or even to feel worthless ? we never truly know , thats up to you. you aren't worthless or alone , you may feel that you are and maybe thats because you feel people around you just don't understand what you're going through . they are great people here on 7 cups , but even talking to a professional , which we can refer you to might be better as well .
January 25th, 2016 6:24pm
Causing pain means you lack pain somewhere else. I find most times it's due to being hurt so much throughout your life and then there all of a sudden is no pain. The best thing will be to find a good pain. Find something you absolutely love doing and do it as much as you can.
June 10th, 2015 2:31am
it takes 3 weeks to form a habit, and hurting yourself is a habit, overtime you get urge to hurt yourself try doing something else, walking your dog, going for a walk, or painiting a picture, after three weeks, the urge should start to fade