Is it healthy to talk to your ex after you broke up with them because they hurt you emotionally/verbally even if they apologized weeks later?

Even in the best of relationships there are bumps in the road miscommunication and hurt feelings at times. All breakups are different and require us to take care of ourselves. Sometimes that means not communicating with an ex ever. Other times it may be a way to navigate obstacles to having a friendship if that's what you both want or negotiating a better relationship. I have found having time to heal and not talk for a time can be very healthy. But to determine what to do, I would ask myself a number of questions like: 1. Is it healthy for me to talk to them? Do they make me feel good about myself? If not, it's probably not a good idea to speak with them 2. Do I feel worse after talking them? Am I sadder, more frustrated or hurt? Talking to them may not be a good idea. 2. Do I need to give myself space to heal, even if it's hard? This is worth some real honest thought. It's ok if the answer is yes. 3. What am I wanting to get out of talking with them? Am I preventing the inevitable separation from them or want to continue talking because I'm unwilling to let go? How does talking to them help me move forward? Would talking to them keep me from or delay me from dealing with loneliness, overdependence or other issues I need to work on? If yes, may some space is the best thing to give myself. 4. Am I expecting them to help me heal the damage they caused? In healthy relationships good authentic communication with our partner can help us build trust and heal wounds we incur from them. But sometimes, those who cause the damage especially in the case of an ex, are often not the people we need to go to in order help ourselves especially if they've been unkind. In that case good friends, trusted peers, family and/or a therapist may be the best choice for our own healing.

Once an abuser, always an abuser. It is best for you to find peace within without the help of the ex. The cycle of abuse is such that they will always say/do something abusive and then pour on the charm to win you back. In the process your self esteem is worn down. As they say, once a word is said, it cant be taken back. The impact lingers. I would advise you to love yourself more. There are great articles written about the cycle of abuse and the more aware you are of these cycles the easier it is to choose you

This is a good question. I think it depends on how fragile a person is and if that ex has taken responsibility for being emotionally or verbally abusive. This can be very traumatic, and create an addiction called a trauma bond. In some cases, it is best to go no contact. Going no contact allows space for loving self, instead of depending on the behavior of someone else to validate one's self. Codependency can also come into play.There are so many issues surrounding relationships, it is complex and multi layered. Really, it's good practice to look inside and find if talking to this person is beneficial for one's own journey. Moving forward doesn't always require us to look back.

Be very careful talking to your abusers, even if it is weeks later. I have fallen into this trap. They will come back and act like it will never happen again but before you know it, old habits are coming back to the surface and the cycle starts all over again. Now if they are taking healthy steps (therapy) to improve their bad habits, maybe baby steps. Only meet them in public places and don't allow long visits. Set boundaries. Make sure to stay alert. It can be hard when you used to have feelings for someone.