What does it mean if I can't feel connections with people and struggle maintaining friendships for long periods of time?

When I feel disconnected emotionally from others, I ask myself, is this something because of what I have done or something else? If it is something I have done, I have to think about why I did whatever that might be and think about all the consequences of that. Usually though it isn't some thing I have done, it is just how people feel about me, whether it is because of who I am, or because of what they were taught to think, or some other reaction that is beyond my control. Since the way they feel is beyond my control, I have to step back again, and think about if I want to change anything about how I act toward them, if I want to change their perception. This is a very close thing- I can't force their perception to change, and I don't want to change myself just to please others. So I think about why I might not have a connection with some people, and I think about if any actions have caused me to lose relationships.