I am not understanding what is going in my life. I am confused. I am hating myself. What should I do?

I hope that you end up feeling better. Self love and self care is difficult to do, but it is something that all of us must achieve in one point in our life. It's lovely that you're reaching out for help with this question on 7 Cups of Tea. Although I cannot tell you directly what to do, I can indirectly suggest how to potentially solve this. What should you and what can you do may be different. If I were in your shoes, I would ask a trusted family member or a select friend that may be able to point you to a few resources or a good counselor to medically help you.