Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why do people try to blame you for what you're feeling when it is just your method of coping?

Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Feb 6, 2015
...read more
People will often deal with overwhelming situations and especially those outside their control in a number of ways. Blame can be a way of trying to win back control, it can also be a way of avoiding responsibility, very very few people live in total isolation so blaming someone for their feelings is a way of avoiding their role in the wider picture and the fact they may have had SOME role in the way you currently feel. They may also not fully understand, prehaps because they cannot relate on any level and it may also depend a little on your culture but sometimes we blame people for what we regard as having an element of shame - for example in the environment I grew up in 'feelings' and expressing them was seen as weak and this is why blame can be a way of preventing anyone from showing perceived weakness and impacting on the way a family/ group of friends is seen by outsiders.
Dealing with self-harm?
Take the Free Wellness Quiz
Gain insight & track progress for anxiety & depression
Talk to a Licensed Therapist
Online chat & video therapy at your fingertips
Help keep 7 Cups free

Takes less than a minute. Keeps 7 Cups free for someone else.

A small contribution goes straight to keeping the community running.

Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Apr 9, 2015
...read more
I like to think its because they are not used to something that is strange and unusual to them. I couldnt blame anyone.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on May 11, 2015
...read more
We all have our own way of coping with things. Getting others to acknowledge and accept it is half the battle. The other half is overcoming your problem.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jun 1, 2015
...read more
Those people function differently, they don't exactly understand your methods. When you're trying to help yourself, they see it as you trying to hurt them.
Profile: eve8414
eve8414 on Aug 30, 2015
...read more
people blame you for how your feeling because they don't understand how what your going through or how much pain your really in.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Nov 27, 2015
...read more
because they dont understand you. and sometimes they are right but no one knows for sure why. to me its all about if you think it is true or not
Profile: calmLove29
calmLove29 on Dec 28, 2015
...read more
because they don't know you. they don get you. only you know exactly how your thinking and don't let them say different
Profile: unicornspice
unicornspice on Mar 29, 2016
...read more
Some people are extremely judgmental and like to jump to conclusions, even when they don't know the full extent and circumstances of the situation. Humans like simplicity, and so they think that people can 'just get over it', when it's really much more complicated than that. As long as the coping method is healthy and not harming the person or anyone else, then that person should just be allowing to feel what they are feeling and cope in whatever way feels natural to them.
Profile: WalkinDownRapperBlvd
WalkinDownRapperBlvd on Apr 5, 2016
...read more
Because those people may not understand and they can't feel what you do. They won't be you. Try to make them understand that.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Apr 6, 2016
...read more
Because most people don't understand what we are going through they think we are happy and all when we pretend to be happy and fake a smile all the time :) but I'm here if anyone wants to talk? :)
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Aug 29, 2016
...read more
Most people do not understand different coping methods and generally rather judge than try to hear you out it's a common occurrence that's why many don't feel comfortable coming out and talking about what helps them and often don't seek help its sad that society can't understand
Profile: Vronica23
Vronica23 on Apr 11, 2017
...read more
We all cope differently, what works for some doesn't work for others. I think that's why sometimes people get confused when you deal with things in a way they are not used to. It's important to try to understand each other, instead of just jumping to conclusions and getting frustrated when people don't deal with things the way we would.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Nov 13, 2017
...read more
It can be difficult for them to empathize even though they may do it out of good intention. Therefore, they can sometimes try to impose their feelings about certain situations.
Profile: SavPerkin0115
SavPerkin0115 on Apr 16, 2018
...read more
People who don't have a mental illness blame that person for what they are feeling because they just don't understand what you are going through. People can be ignorant sometimes. They won't always understand you.
Share a Helpful Insight
Sharing helps others and its therapeutic for you.
0/150 Minimum Characters
0/75 Minimum Words