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4evercurious
1 1,437 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts35 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2022 Member sinceDecember 28, 2021
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Eating Disorder Support / by 4evercurious
Last post
 December 28th, 2021
...See more That’s gonna be a long post. I guess I’m writing this mostly for myself, cause I’m gonna burst out if I don’t spill it... I have no one to talk about this problem. I’m trying to find the solution to my eating problems. After spending 7-8 years attempting to stop overeating and occasionally binge eating, I understood some things about myself: 1) I don’t like dieting (it drives me crazy) 2) I’m actually okay with my body, and I’m not obsessed about the idea of losing weight anymore 3) I don’t like the idea of food journaling 4) I don’t enjoy mindful eating/slow eating 5) I don’t like overcomplicated solutions to my eating disorders 6) I don’t like chewing my food many many times (I used to chew every bite until it’s liquid-like) After I gave up on those things, I got much better! I stopped binge eating, it took some time and it was scary to eat without all those rules in my mind, but it worked! I even stopped overeating for a whole year and involuntarily lost some weight. Right now I gained half of those weight back, and gladly I’m absolutely fine with that. I don’t regret, I don’t hate my body. But even though the situation got better, I still struggle with food. That overeating-free year was peaceful cause I didn’t work, and didn’t study. But once I found a job, it slowly started to get worse. I started overeating occasionally, then more often. I can’t live without stress at all, there is always be stress to some extent (which is not bad, Im talking about “healthy” stress that leads to growth). So I need to solve my eating disorders for good I was thinking to apply some methods that already worked for me before and felt more or less natural to my personality. From all my experience I understand that not every “good” habit can be good for me. Cause mindful eating sounds nice, right? But I tried it persistently for 1 year and it made me being obsessed with food even more. So I don’t wanna make the same mistakes anymore, and give habits a “try” before committing to them. Some habits will fit in, some won’t, and it’s fine! I wanna try a habit of behaving and thinking like a naturally-slender person. Again, not to lose weight. I just wanna have normal, natural perception of food like those people. They are free from constantly thinking about food, they are free from escaping stress and other feelings with food. I wanna be like them. To do that, I understood that I need to teach myself to eat when I’m physically hungry and stop eating when I’m not hungry anymore and satisfied. The problem is my mind takes everything so seriously, and I tend to perceive it as rules or a diet. But it’s not like that... idk what is it, tbh. I struggle to take it normally. This is a simple solution: “Eat when physically hungry. Eat in moderation”. The implementation is not that simple. But I want to try, I want to really try and see how my brain take those words as I progress. Maybe with time they will sound more natural and closer to me, maybe they will become part of me. I hope so. If this lifestyle fits into my personality, I’ll be so happy and free, I guess. Let’s see, I wanna share my progress here and update you with my journey. Wish me luck, I’ll try to post my insights every week. And I deliberately chose this time before New Year. I had some thoughts about starting after holidays but again it was just my diet mentality speaking. I choose to change now
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Scared, anxious but hopeful
Eating Disorder Support / by 4evercurious
Last post
 December 31st, 2021
...See more Hello everyone! I’ve been struggling with eating disorders for about 7-8 years or even more. It’s such a suffocating problem, and I’m really tired of it. For the first few years it was like a hell, seemed like I unlearned how to eat. “Eat slowly, chew more, pay attention to every bite, sit when you eat, eat this and that, avoid this and that, keep a journal” and so on... ugh I never suffered from anorexia but had a little period of bulimia. Then I just binged and overate. I gained a lot of weight but to be honest, I don’t care about my weight anymore, I’m just scared of my health. My habit of overeating caused some health problems that I still have. Luckily, the situation got much better, and I stopped binge eating, and I don’t overeat so often anymore. But it feels a bit unstable because sometimes I lose myself and overeat when I’m stressed. Right now I have a stressful period of my life, so I overeat almost everyday. I don’t like that, I feel weak and hopeless at those times. I really wanna find the way to get rid of this problem for good. Not to lose weight, not to look better, I just wanna be like a normal person who doesn’t think about food so much. I wanna be free and spend my life doing other things. This stupid problem has already taken most of my life. I want my life back, I’m determined to find the solution (no diet, no mindful eating, no obsessing over food, no super complicated solutions that only worsens the problem). I want to find a simple and natural solution, clinging more towards “intuitive eating” way. I guess it’s a hella long introduction, sorry xD
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