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AlwaysAnxious2022
111 M Embraced 1
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2022 Member sinceFebruary 4, 2022
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Am I The Asshole?
Relationship Stress / by AlwaysAnxious2022
Last post
 February 5th, 2022
...See more My fiance has an online friend he met a month ago through a karaoke app. She's supposedly happily married but I have been feeling uncomfortable with the friendship as I've seen him sending her some flirty things and inappropriate things. She generally doesn't say to much back but will send an emoji or something. She did once tell him he was cute (whatever, he is).. Anyways She www bugging him to do these romancey voice acting things with her and he knows that I've had alot of anxiety over what's going on between them... We've fought about it a few times. I have terrible anxiety anyways but he also cheated on me about a year and a half ago so we were in therapy and building trust walls back up and such and then when I saw that stuff it made me feel a sort of way. I asked him to please not do the romance voice recordings with her because it would make me uncomfortable. I know that it'll just set off my anxiety flags and such and so I was trying to communicate that.... He got pissed at me and stormed out of the house. He thinks I'm being absolutely ridiculous and that I should just trust him and have nothing to worry about etc. And I'm trying but I felt it was okay for me to speak up when something would make me uncomfortable to prevent future issues.... Am I overthinking to hard? Am I being ridiculous?
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Hello and Blessed Be!
35 & Over Community / by AlwaysAnxious2022
Last post
 February 22nd, 2022
...See more Hello everyone. I don't really know what to say here other than I am someone who battles my own brain every single day. I am diagnosed with clinical depression, CPTSD, Anxiety, and ADHD. More often that not, especially lately, my anxiety and intrusive thoughts take vice grips on my brain and I have to fight like he'll to get them to go away... otherwise I last out or self destruct on the person who loves me most in this world, my fiance. I've spent most of my life being told that I am unworthy of love, and worth nothing... so I really struggle to accept that I am loved. I struggle with trusting the security that my home and my family I love so much is not going to just go away. I've lost everything so many times as and adult, and had to start completely over that that also makes it harder sometimes. I'm trying, but some days are harder than others. Some days my brain tells me no one wants me, and they'd be better if I disappeared...that they deserve better. I'm not suicidal at all, and I'm self harm free for... well, many many many moons. But God's, sometimes my brain is dammed cruel, and then not only do I suffer, but my person does too. He's as patient as he can be, and he sticks by me... but I need to learn to get past this shit, and to turn off the faucet when it starts overflowing. I have been doing okay at taking my meds every day, but before I kept forgetting and I know that doesn't help. I also struggle with severely low self esteem. I have some body chemistry issues, and having two kids... I don't look anything like how I wish. Overall, I just want to be happy being me. I want to find the goofy person that I used to be, before all the major traumas, before losing so much and so many people, including my mom. I want peace.
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