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AnAceWriter
777 M Little Steps
PathStep 17 Compassion hearts36 Forum posts30 Forum upvotes52 Current upvotes52 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2021 Member sinceJune 30, 2019
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Conflicted Feelings and Trauma
Trauma Support / by AnAceWriter
Last post
 June 17th, 2020
...See more My mother emotionally and verbally abused me. She didn't mean to for the longest time, but then she intentionally did when I came out to her. For a month and a half, she accused me of abandoning her, threatened to kick me out/cut me off from my siblings, and so much more. I eventually moved out and have been on my own for the last month. She called me crying this week saying that she was sorry for hurting me, said that she'd be ok if I have a girlfriend one day, and that she respects the boundaries that I've made (but just three days before she had said I was abandoning the family by not letting her and the rest of my family come over. She said a lot of hurtful and emotionally abusive things) Now, while I know that she's trying, I keep having nightmares of her hurting me and accusing me of thise horrible things. I also keep hallucinating and seeing/hearing things that aren't there. I'm wide awake at night because my brain won't stop running. I also have irrational thoughts that I know aren't reasonable or sensible, but I still believe them. I don't know what to do. I don't know if my mental illness is acting up, if I'm getting worse, or if this is PTSD. I'm scared of her and my own mind now.
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I shouldn't have told my mom
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by AnAceWriter
Last post
 March 30th, 2020
...See more My mom is somewhat abusive to me, I'm just realizing and recognizing this, but today she was very depressed. She kept saying how she'll probably die before all this is over because of all her health problems, and I let that guilt me into telling her that I'm asexual. (I didn't want her to pass before I told her the truth). I told her and she had her questions, but she was overall dismissive of it. She said that I couldn't know because I've never done it, and I shouldn't "knock it before I try it". I don't think she realized that I told her I'm LGBT+, and I know that she's going to talk about it with my teen sisters, her friends, and our father. I'm so scared for what will happen now. I shouldn't have told her,I shouldn't have let her guilt me into it and I should have just ignored my friend's advice. Now I know not to tell her that I'm trans and pan. I know what will happen then. Gosh, I feel so stupid.
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