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Avantgardenx
311 M Embraced 2
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes23 Current upvotes23 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2020 Member sinceApril 7, 2020
Recent forum posts
Starting Over Again at Nearly 30
Relationship Stress / by Avantgardenx
Last post
September 11th, 2020
...See more **Cross posted in the "Being Single" community discussion. My 11 year relationship is likely going to be over at the end of this crisis. The decision is not really in my hands (I want to work on it), but I think he wants to end the relationship (he won't really tell me one way or the other). Besides being heartbroken and terrified about losing the person I love and thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, I am utterly terrified about starting over again at nearly 30. We have been together since we were 18, and I am now 29. From a financial perspective, I am worried, but I think I would make it work. It would be tight and tough decisions would have to be made, but I think I could make it work and I know my family would help if I really needed them to. The bigger concern for me is having to start all over again from a relationship perspective. I have not been on a date since I was 18, and it seems very different than it did back then. The few friends I have who are single (who are all younger than me), say it sucks. As a woman, I feel pressure starting over at 30 because the clock is ticking if I ever decide I want children. I thought I would be married by now and have some time to decide on children. Instead, I am now facing not getting married until probably 35 at the earliest. Does anyone (particularly women) have experience being single in their 30s? How are you managing it? Are you feeling anxiety or pressure from society or family or a ticking clock? How are you finding dating? Any honest accounts would be so appreciated, as I am trying to mentally steel myself for all of this. Am I just being stupid and letting my anxiety-riddled brain get the better of me?
Starting Over Again at Nearly 30
Relationship Stress / by Avantgardenx
Last post
May 5th, 2020
...See more My 11 year relationship is likely going to be over at the end of this crisis. The decision is not really in my hands (I want to work on it), but I think he wants to end the relationship (he won't really tell me one way or the other). Besides being heartbroken and terrified about losing the person I love and thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, I am utterly terrified about starting over again at nearly 30. We have been together since we were 18, and I am now 29. From a financial perspective, I am worried, but I think I would make it work. It would be tight and tough decisions would have to be made, but I think I could make it work and I know my family would help if I really needed them to. The bigger concern for me is having to start all over again from a relationship perspective. I have not been on a date since I was 18, and it seems very different than it did back then. The few friends I have who are single (who are all younger than me), say it sucks. As a woman, I feel pressure starting over at 30 because the clock is ticking if I ever decide I want children. I thought I would be married by now and have some time to decide on children. Instead, I am now facing not getting married until probably 35 at the earliest. Does anyone (particularly women) have experience being single in their 30s? How are you managing it? Are you feeling anxiety or pressure from society or family or a ticking clock? How are you finding dating? Any honest accounts would be so appreciated, as I am trying to mentally steel myself for all of this. Am I just being stupid and letting my anxiety-riddled brain get the better of me?
Stuck in Limbo
Relationship Stress / by Avantgardenx
Last post
April 7th, 2020
...See more My 11 year relationship seemed on the verge of ending before quarantine. Now we are stuck together in isolation. No decision has been made as to whether to stay together or go our separate ways. The decision is more up to him, as I have laid my cards on the table and said I want to make it work. I tried to have a conversation with him about it, and he said he hadn't really had the mental capacity to give it any thought during this time. He said he wasn't sure whether he wanted to stay together or breakup. However, I know he has been telling his friends that he's unhappy and that he thought things would be done and he would be moved out by May, and they're egging him on to end the relationship and move out. They're even egging him on to start dating a former coworker, even though our relationship isn't technically ended yet. The uncertainty has been triggering my anxiety, including physical symptoms, and causing my brain to think about all the worst case scenarios. My brain keeps telling me that he is definitely going to dump me like he's been telling his friends, that I'm going to lose the person who was the love of my life and that I thought I was going to walk through life with, that maybe he's cheating on me (or at the very least thinking about what his friends said about dating that former coworker, who I know he texts a lot), that I'm losing his wonderful family who I love very much, that I'm going to end up living alone, that I don't have the money to be able to stand on my own two feet alone, that I won't be able to make new friends (as I am shy and introverted), that I won't ever find love again, and that I will just end up alone forever. The anxiety is just all so overwhelming and it makes it hard to think about or focus on anything else. Besides my brain never turning off, I'm feel like I'm always shaking, have a hard time eating, feeling sick, sometimes have trouble breathing, feeling tingling in my body, etc.