Stuck in Limbo
My 11 year relationship seemed on the verge of ending before quarantine. Now we are stuck together in isolation. No decision has been made as to whether to stay together or go our separate ways. The decision is more up to him, as I have laid my cards on the table and said I want to make it work. I tried to have a conversation with him about it, and he said he hadn't really had the mental capacity to give it any thought during this time. He said he wasn't sure whether he wanted to stay together or breakup. However, I know he has been telling his friends that he's unhappy and that he thought things would be done and he would be moved out by May, and they're egging him on to end the relationship and move out. They're even egging him on to start dating a former coworker, even though our relationship isn't technically ended yet. The uncertainty has been triggering my anxiety, including physical symptoms, and causing my brain to think about all the worst case scenarios. My brain keeps telling me that he is definitely going to dump me like he's been telling his friends, that I'm going to lose the person who was the love of my life and that I thought I was going to walk through life with, that maybe he's cheating on me (or at the very least thinking about what his friends said about dating that former coworker, who I know he texts a lot), that I'm losing his wonderful family who I love very much, that I'm going to end up living alone, that I don't have the money to be able to stand on my own two feet alone, that I won't be able to make new friends (as I am shy and introverted), that I won't ever find love again, and that I will just end up alone forever. The anxiety is just all so overwhelming and it makes it hard to think about or focus on anything else. Besides my brain never turning off, I'm feel like I'm always shaking, have a hard time eating, feeling sick, sometimes have trouble breathing, feeling tingling in my body, etc.
I'm with you 100%. I'm pretty sure my bf wants to leave but is stuck here during the COVID. He's ignoring me and mostly ignoring my kids. I'm completely heartbroken and don't know what else I can do. Maybe focus on the people who DO love you? That's what I'm trying my best to do. I don't have much: my kids and my dad mostly. I don't think anyone else would care if I were gone.
@Pinkie256 I'm sure there are more people than you realize who love and miss you. I know I have people who love me and want to be there for me, but they are halfway across the country. I message or call them when I can, but its not like having someone there to hug you and comfort you. I dont have a huge support system where I live currently, so I feel afraid of being lonely if I dont have my fiance anymore. But it's not really an option for me to move closer to my family either.
@Avantgardenx Thanks. That may be true. But it is so hurtful when the one person you want to be with doesn't want to be with you anymore.
I need a lot of help and I don't know where to go.
@Pinkie256 I understand. I feel the same way. It hurts to think that I may have somehow caused him to no longer love me. I think I am a good person who made mistakes. But this feels like a complete rejection and like I am a terrible person who deserves unhappiness. I, too, don't know where to turn or what to do, which is how I ended up here on 7 Cups. I know that no one can tell me what to do or lead me to what I need to do and that I need to figure it out on my own, but I just feel so alone and lonely that I am just trying to get comfort and support anywhere I can at this point. I'm wishing you the best of luck, and know that you are not the only one feeling this way. You are not alone in your pain, confusion, and anxiety. I'm right there with you.
@Avantgardenx Thanks. That may be true. But it is so hurtful when the one person you want to be with doesn't want to be with you anymore.
I need a lot of help and I don't know where to go.
@Avantgardenx Thanks. That may be true. But it is so hurtful when the one person you want to be with doesn't want to be with you anymore.
I need a lot of help and I don't know where to go.
