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Ayenony
288 M Embraced 2
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes18 Current upvotes18 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2019 Member sinceDecember 26, 2018
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I broke up with him but I
Relationship Stress / by Ayenony
Last post
 April 13th, 2019
...See more Ive always been the one thats been broken up with or had reason to end it with the other person. I recently ended my relationship with my bf of 6 years and he loves me to pieces. He would do anything for me and does nothing wrong to me. We dont even fight past petty disagreements. Unfortunately, and although Ive always hoped thered be mutual feelings, it never developed. He was aware of my unmatched feelings for quite a long time as weve had conversations about it before but he said he always let it go because I never made changes after those talks (he also likes to be in denial about things until he has to face em). Anyway, we had another talk about how my feelings arent developing and probably wont at this point. I also told him that there will be changes happening with this break up and Im pretty set on stIcking to it this time. Oddly enough though Ive been crying post break up? Like when he talks to me about being in a downward spiral over it it physically hurts my heart to think about hurting him. And when I think about the day he moves out I start crying. Were very close and comfortable around each other. We have the same humor etc. But for me it just feels like were best friends and not in a relationship. We dont do relationship stuff. It feels unnatural for me to do relationship things with him (kissing, holding hands, cuddling). I guess my question is why am I crying about the break up if I dont have feelings for him. My heart hurts over it but its coming from a different place within me. Like my heart is empty but still in pain if that makes sense?
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Anxiety about Death
Anxiety Support / by Ayenony
Last post
 February 9th, 2019
...See more Its not that Im afraid of death for myself, but Im scared about the death of others. Long story short, my dad isnt in good health but hes the sole provider for everything in my family of 17. We all pitch in with what we can. But he doesnt sleep more than 3 hours a night, and hes been having headaches but wont go to the doctor for it. Recently he had a dream that his deceased sister told him that shed see him soon. And I had a dream the day after telling me that God wanted him to know that so that hed seek Jesus and be saved. Ive been stuck between having panic attacks on panic attacks and acceptance. I dont know what wed do without him. But he wont go to the doctor no matter how hard we try. I try not to think about it cause when I do, I get self destructive, and depressed, and its just not a good scene. Just needed to vent here. Thx for reading.
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